"And he's a friend of Jimmy Buffet's, so Jimmy Buffet helped with the decorations... it was a FAB holiday party!"
"I ordered her Christmas gift from Scotland and it hasn't come yet..."
"My company bonus is a killer this year. We're going to Aspen and..."
"I drank nothing but decaf low-fat lattes when I was pregnant and yes, the baby is doing fine, she's in the top of her class now at daycare..."
what I would say: "I'm buying this gingerbread latte to clear up my raging sinus headache so I can write werewolf sex. Do you think it's okay to have werewolves into bondage?"
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Does she take the dummy to bed?
And if she does, what's he like? Probably the strong, silent type. LOL!
Sorry, I can't help but wonder. I mean, when you read a story like this, you have to wonder. This poor military wife takes the dummy hubby to dinner, out shopping, because she misses her hubby who is serving in the Navy. She even takes him to Victoria's Secret. But... does she go to bed with him?
The dummy is a silent type, I guess. Not very talkative at dinner, just sits there. You know, like a real man. But at least he can't complain about her running up the charge cards when they shop. Does he give her advice on what kind of lingerie to wear when they shop together at Victoria's Secret? Did she buy him kinky thongs with a little bow-tie in the front?
Come on, US NAVY, give this Navy husband leave! This poor wife... whoa boy. Six weeks. At least! Do you want this guy, who is serving our country, to get a "Dear John, I've left you for a real dummy" letter?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Sorry, I can't help but wonder. I mean, when you read a story like this, you have to wonder. This poor military wife takes the dummy hubby to dinner, out shopping, because she misses her hubby who is serving in the Navy. She even takes him to Victoria's Secret. But... does she go to bed with him?
The dummy is a silent type, I guess. Not very talkative at dinner, just sits there. You know, like a real man. But at least he can't complain about her running up the charge cards when they shop. Does he give her advice on what kind of lingerie to wear when they shop together at Victoria's Secret? Did she buy him kinky thongs with a little bow-tie in the front?
Come on, US NAVY, give this Navy husband leave! This poor wife... whoa boy. Six weeks. At least! Do you want this guy, who is serving our country, to get a "Dear John, I've left you for a real dummy" letter?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Dear Larissa
Did you hear me scream all the way up there in Washington?
I'm sure you did. Remember that ungodly shriek you heard on Saturday at 3 p.m.? That wasn't an air siren. But me, down here in sunny south Florida.
I'm writing you this letter on my blog because I know what you have endured with insurance woes, FEMA woes and all the nightmares you have suffered since Hurricane Katrina hit your home. You've been there. Done that. Let me explain that shriek you heard on Saturday.
I had just returned from a wonderful RWA chapter meeting and party and was working on an essay about my mom for a newspaper contest my friend Mary Stella told me about. It's a pretty emotional essay. Usually I keep this "secret writing" to myself, but I wanted others to know what a special and unselfish person Mom was. This weekend it will be ten years since she died.
Editing the essay was very emotional enough. I had to stop because I was crying.
So as I am wiping my face, the doorbell rings. It's the insurance adjustor.
Seems we had so much damage, we have to fill out MORE paperwork. The process starts over again. No signs of a check.
That's when I screamed.
Dear Larissa, did you hear another scream yesterday morning as well?
That's when I opened the paper and saw this story in the Sun Sentinel.
The story about how FEMA reimbursed a vascular surgeon $826 for a generator he bought, a surgeon who lives in a $1.1 million home, while a poor woman who has lupus and diabetes and is on oxygen, and couldn't afford a generator, was told by a FEMA worker to go to the hospital if she runs out of oxgyen. The woman couldn't get reimbursed because she couldn't afford a generator. She told the reporter she tried not to get upset so she wouldn't breathe as much and therefore, conserve her oxygen.
We filed for FEMA. We filed because my husband worried the insurance won't cover all our damages. FEMA told us, sorry, you don't have enough damage. You have insurance, as well.
Insurance told us, sorry you have too much damage. We need to investigate further.
Are you hearing an odd, high pitched scream right now all the way up there in chilly Washington?
Yup, it's me. Screaming again.
I'm sure you did. Remember that ungodly shriek you heard on Saturday at 3 p.m.? That wasn't an air siren. But me, down here in sunny south Florida.
I'm writing you this letter on my blog because I know what you have endured with insurance woes, FEMA woes and all the nightmares you have suffered since Hurricane Katrina hit your home. You've been there. Done that. Let me explain that shriek you heard on Saturday.
I had just returned from a wonderful RWA chapter meeting and party and was working on an essay about my mom for a newspaper contest my friend Mary Stella told me about. It's a pretty emotional essay. Usually I keep this "secret writing" to myself, but I wanted others to know what a special and unselfish person Mom was. This weekend it will be ten years since she died.
Editing the essay was very emotional enough. I had to stop because I was crying.
So as I am wiping my face, the doorbell rings. It's the insurance adjustor.
Seems we had so much damage, we have to fill out MORE paperwork. The process starts over again. No signs of a check.
That's when I screamed.
Dear Larissa, did you hear another scream yesterday morning as well?
That's when I opened the paper and saw this story in the Sun Sentinel.
The story about how FEMA reimbursed a vascular surgeon $826 for a generator he bought, a surgeon who lives in a $1.1 million home, while a poor woman who has lupus and diabetes and is on oxygen, and couldn't afford a generator, was told by a FEMA worker to go to the hospital if she runs out of oxgyen. The woman couldn't get reimbursed because she couldn't afford a generator. She told the reporter she tried not to get upset so she wouldn't breathe as much and therefore, conserve her oxygen.
We filed for FEMA. We filed because my husband worried the insurance won't cover all our damages. FEMA told us, sorry, you don't have enough damage. You have insurance, as well.
Insurance told us, sorry you have too much damage. We need to investigate further.
Are you hearing an odd, high pitched scream right now all the way up there in chilly Washington?
Yup, it's me. Screaming again.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Leak fixed, writing again! YAY!!!
DH fixed the roof leak. YAY! He got on the roof IN THE RAIN, found the leak, and patched it. Thank God for my handy hubby!
AND I'm writing again! Slowly, not much, but I am WRITING! I just need to focus, focus, focus and concentrate and not get distracted. I can do it, I can, I WILL!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
AND I'm writing again! Slowly, not much, but I am WRITING! I just need to focus, focus, focus and concentrate and not get distracted. I can do it, I can, I WILL!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
My roof is leaking, thank you hurricane Wilma!
Well, the dreaded ROOF LEAK is here...
Sitting in the family room and it's raining outside, a gentle rain, mind you... and I hear the drip drip drip... the leak is INSIDE the wall... which means the water will pool on the floor inside, then leak through and ruin the carpet...
DH can't even get on the roof to look at it or try to put a tarp up there because it's supposed to rain all freaking week!!! More damage from Wilma, thank you very much. The leak isn't in the place where the tree went through the roof. I think another branch dented the roof and we didn't catch it...
We need a new roof. Fast. We signed up with The Home Depot. Waiting time for a new roof?
Four months, minimum!!!
Sigh... I'm trying so hard to get into the Christmas spirit. But this year, it's real hard. Real hard.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Sitting in the family room and it's raining outside, a gentle rain, mind you... and I hear the drip drip drip... the leak is INSIDE the wall... which means the water will pool on the floor inside, then leak through and ruin the carpet...
DH can't even get on the roof to look at it or try to put a tarp up there because it's supposed to rain all freaking week!!! More damage from Wilma, thank you very much. The leak isn't in the place where the tree went through the roof. I think another branch dented the roof and we didn't catch it...
We need a new roof. Fast. We signed up with The Home Depot. Waiting time for a new roof?
Four months, minimum!!!
Sigh... I'm trying so hard to get into the Christmas spirit. But this year, it's real hard. Real hard.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
BOOK MEME!
Mary Stella and Nancy Cohen tagged me for a book meme.
1) The first romances I read were by Dorothy Eden in the early 1970’s, including Crow Hollow. No sex, just gothic thrills. Hey, I was only 10 years old.
2) I learned part of the Greek alphabet by reading Brave New World, where human beings are produced into different classes of intelligence. Now that there are hurricanes named after the Greek letters, I can’t get the images from that book out of my mind. I picture a Hurricane Alpha as being the biggest, most powerful storm, while Epsilon should be this wimpy, lower life form storm that doesn’t know what direction to take.
3) A book that deeply disturbed me, and to this day, I can’t read, is Lord of the Flies. I know it could be true.
4) The first sexy romance I read was The Flame & the Flower. I asked mom, “What’s a manhood?” No reply.
5) I learned my love of romance from my mom. She was a romance addict and kept the hall linen closet stacked with books. I found her stash when I was cleaning the closet, sat down on the floor and started reading.
6) I read a lot of romance when I travel for the day job because the romance balances the suffering and misery I see in Haiti and other poor countries. Sometimes I’ll take three or four books with me on a trip. The sexy covers don’t embarrass me. One time I read Sandra Hill’s Sweeter, Savage Love with the half-naked John DeSalvo cover… on a bus filled with priests and nuns!
7) I’m on a quest to find books I read and loved as a child. My first book just arrived. It’s Apple Tree Cottage by Virginia F. Voight, a story set in 1842 of a family who travels in their caravan.
8) I love reading Stephen King. I was addicted to his books when I was a teenager because he was such a terrific writer and great storyteller as well as being able to scare the dickens out of me. I recently found a hardcover copy of Thinner, the book he wrote as Richard Bach.
9) In addition to reading very steamy romances, I enjoy reading sweet romances that have great sexual tension. When the love scene arrives, it makes it even more special.
10) My biggest nightmare is an ignorant world without books, like Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.
11) I miss the big, thick historicals Avon used to publish by Laurie McBain (you and I have something in common, Mary Stella!), Kathleen Woodiwiss and Rosemary Rogers.
12) The first fan letter I ever wrote to an author was to Teresa Medeiros after reading Breath of Magic. That book got me through a difficult personal time.
13) I buy myself Harry Potter as a very special treat.
14) There are some books I can read sections at a time and set it down and not pick it up for months. One of these is a fascinating book on Christianity in the Middle East called From the Holy Mountain by William Dalrymple.
15) If a friend recommends a book to me, I’ll go on Amazon, read the reviews just to glom information and buy it even if it has the worst reviews. I never pass on a book because of reviews. I just purchased Wicked because of a recommendation.
What fun this was! Now I’m tagging Cindy Cruciger, Stacey Klemstein and Patti O'Shea.
1) The first romances I read were by Dorothy Eden in the early 1970’s, including Crow Hollow. No sex, just gothic thrills. Hey, I was only 10 years old.
2) I learned part of the Greek alphabet by reading Brave New World, where human beings are produced into different classes of intelligence. Now that there are hurricanes named after the Greek letters, I can’t get the images from that book out of my mind. I picture a Hurricane Alpha as being the biggest, most powerful storm, while Epsilon should be this wimpy, lower life form storm that doesn’t know what direction to take.
3) A book that deeply disturbed me, and to this day, I can’t read, is Lord of the Flies. I know it could be true.
4) The first sexy romance I read was The Flame & the Flower. I asked mom, “What’s a manhood?” No reply.
5) I learned my love of romance from my mom. She was a romance addict and kept the hall linen closet stacked with books. I found her stash when I was cleaning the closet, sat down on the floor and started reading.
6) I read a lot of romance when I travel for the day job because the romance balances the suffering and misery I see in Haiti and other poor countries. Sometimes I’ll take three or four books with me on a trip. The sexy covers don’t embarrass me. One time I read Sandra Hill’s Sweeter, Savage Love with the half-naked John DeSalvo cover… on a bus filled with priests and nuns!
7) I’m on a quest to find books I read and loved as a child. My first book just arrived. It’s Apple Tree Cottage by Virginia F. Voight, a story set in 1842 of a family who travels in their caravan.
8) I love reading Stephen King. I was addicted to his books when I was a teenager because he was such a terrific writer and great storyteller as well as being able to scare the dickens out of me. I recently found a hardcover copy of Thinner, the book he wrote as Richard Bach.
9) In addition to reading very steamy romances, I enjoy reading sweet romances that have great sexual tension. When the love scene arrives, it makes it even more special.
10) My biggest nightmare is an ignorant world without books, like Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.
11) I miss the big, thick historicals Avon used to publish by Laurie McBain (you and I have something in common, Mary Stella!), Kathleen Woodiwiss and Rosemary Rogers.
12) The first fan letter I ever wrote to an author was to Teresa Medeiros after reading Breath of Magic. That book got me through a difficult personal time.
13) I buy myself Harry Potter as a very special treat.
14) There are some books I can read sections at a time and set it down and not pick it up for months. One of these is a fascinating book on Christianity in the Middle East called From the Holy Mountain by William Dalrymple.
15) If a friend recommends a book to me, I’ll go on Amazon, read the reviews just to glom information and buy it even if it has the worst reviews. I never pass on a book because of reviews. I just purchased Wicked because of a recommendation.
What fun this was! Now I’m tagging Cindy Cruciger, Stacey Klemstein and Patti O'Shea.
Charlie Brown tree
Getting into the Christmas spirit. Listening to Handel's MESSIAH on the car radio. The whole thing. It always revives me this time of year. I love the majesty of the oratorio. Heaven must be like that.
In the front yard I planted the half of our pine tree that got blown off during Hurricane Wilma. It's now in the spot where my beloved oak blew down. Looks like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I had to put something there because that bare patch looks so sad and forlorn.
I've been tagged for a book meme. Will post it later.
In the front yard I planted the half of our pine tree that got blown off during Hurricane Wilma. It's now in the spot where my beloved oak blew down. Looks like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I had to put something there because that bare patch looks so sad and forlorn.
I've been tagged for a book meme. Will post it later.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Christmas hay ride
Spent yesterday cutting more of the downed trees. Seeing progress. I'm tired of cleaning up after Hurricane Wilma. I need to get into the Christmas spirit. Maybe an old-fashioned hay ride would do it?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Friday, December 02, 2005
Writing mojo; Haiti missionary kidnapped
My writing mojo is sucked dry. I'm struggling to write. I get so easily sidetracked. The day job, Christmas coming, the wrecked Florida room I shut the blinds against so I don't have to look at it, etc. Plainly put, when I come home from work, I'm exhausted. All I want to do is prepare dinner, eat and watch stupid TV. Not work on my werewolf story.
I'm suspended in writing limbo, a creative inertia. Only instead of remaining in motion, I'm not in motion and I need a very strong force to kick me. I need to focus on what Julie, my CP, said about my WIP. She really liked it and loved Marcus. Very Alpha, very sexy. So why can't I write his story? Why is it when I flip open the laptop and power up the WIP, I stare at the screen and sit there? Maybe it's because the post-hurricane trauma was too much. Maybe it's just trying to establish a regular routine again, even at work. After all we only moved back into our offices this week after Hurricane Wilma flooded them.
Yet there are others who have suffered much worse and THEY write. I admire them so much. Like Larissa. She wrote almost HALF A BOOK for NaNo. Her home was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina. She's living in ANOTHER state with her son while her husband still remains in Mississippi. Talk about trauma! And yet, she's writing!
I need a shot of enthusiasms. I'm expected to have certain enthusiams for the job. Just like DeNiro in THE UNTOUCHABLES. Enthusiasms, yeah. (Before he picked up the baseball bat and bashed that guy's head in).
In other news, a missionary and 11 schoolchildren were kidnapped in Haiti yesterday in two separate incidents. They let the kids go. The missionary is still being held for ransom. He was driving along a road outside PAP, probably National Road #1. Sigh... My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family and friends...
I doubt I'll be going to Haiti anytime soon. Nope. No way.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I'm suspended in writing limbo, a creative inertia. Only instead of remaining in motion, I'm not in motion and I need a very strong force to kick me. I need to focus on what Julie, my CP, said about my WIP. She really liked it and loved Marcus. Very Alpha, very sexy. So why can't I write his story? Why is it when I flip open the laptop and power up the WIP, I stare at the screen and sit there? Maybe it's because the post-hurricane trauma was too much. Maybe it's just trying to establish a regular routine again, even at work. After all we only moved back into our offices this week after Hurricane Wilma flooded them.
Yet there are others who have suffered much worse and THEY write. I admire them so much. Like Larissa. She wrote almost HALF A BOOK for NaNo. Her home was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina. She's living in ANOTHER state with her son while her husband still remains in Mississippi. Talk about trauma! And yet, she's writing!
I need a shot of enthusiasms. I'm expected to have certain enthusiams for the job. Just like DeNiro in THE UNTOUCHABLES. Enthusiasms, yeah. (Before he picked up the baseball bat and bashed that guy's head in).
In other news, a missionary and 11 schoolchildren were kidnapped in Haiti yesterday in two separate incidents. They let the kids go. The missionary is still being held for ransom. He was driving along a road outside PAP, probably National Road #1. Sigh... My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family and friends...
I doubt I'll be going to Haiti anytime soon. Nope. No way.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Give the whites some food
What a hungry little girl prayed in Haiti when my co-worker asked her to pray:
"Dear Lord, give the whites some food so they can give us food. Amen."
Amen, indeed.
Today's Daily Word is right on the mark. Is Someone trying to give me a message when I feel like I just can't write anymore?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
"Dear Lord, give the whites some food so they can give us food. Amen."
Amen, indeed.
Today's Daily Word is right on the mark. Is Someone trying to give me a message when I feel like I just can't write anymore?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Let's hunt haggis
It's that time of year again. Hunting season starts in Scotland on the internet. Go snag a haggis and win some whiskey. Or a trip to Scotland. I wanted to see if a prize included a cute guy in a kilt. Alas, it did not.
Happy hunting!
Happy hunting!
Hurricane-free Christmas
Last day of hurricane season. Officially. They say December storms are still possible. Here's a new song I wrote...what I'll be singing Dec. 25.
Hurricane-free Christmas, copyright 2005 by Bonnie Vanak
I 'm dreaming of a hurricane free Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops don't come crashing
On my house smashing
Making my living room ceiling appear so low, oh
I' m dreaming of a hurricane free Christmas
With every FEMA application I write
May your insurance deductible not be out of sight
And all your debris piles be light.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Hurricane-free Christmas, copyright 2005 by Bonnie Vanak
I 'm dreaming of a hurricane free ChristmasJust like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops don't come crashing
On my house smashing
Making my living room ceiling appear so low, oh
I' m dreaming of a hurricane free Christmas
With every FEMA application I write
May your insurance deductible not be out of sight
And all your debris piles be light.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
The biggest loser
Matt is the biggest loser. He lost 157 pounds on NBC's reality TV show. What a winner he is!
He wins $250,000... worth of Dolly Madison cakes. Ooops, we forgot to tell you the REAL prize, Matt ole buddy.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
He wins $250,000... worth of Dolly Madison cakes. Ooops, we forgot to tell you the REAL prize, Matt ole buddy.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tropical storm EPSILON?
One day before the hurricane season "officially" ends and there's Epsilon out there in the Atlantic?
Holy hurricane season, Batman, will it EVER be over? Bring on the tourists with their hairy paunches hanging over their little bitty Speedos invading my beach! I'm ready. Anything to get rid of the hurricanes this year...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Holy hurricane season, Batman, will it EVER be over? Bring on the tourists with their hairy paunches hanging over their little bitty Speedos invading my beach! I'm ready. Anything to get rid of the hurricanes this year...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Saturday, November 26, 2005
I need a big hose
Our weekend off has consisted of meeting with repair people, roof people, all kinds of people. More hurricane clean-up. Yesterday I sprayed water on the roots of the two tree root balls out back we are attempting to remove. our neighbor, who cuts trees, advised knocking out the dirt between the roots with a powerful hose, like a fire hose. DH is so busy chainsawing the tree limbs and trying to cart away downed fence parts that I am doing water duty. I need a really big hose. With lots and lots of power. Anyone know where I can get a big, long, powerful hose like this one?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Happy Thanksgiving
A Floridian blessing...
May the wind always be at your back and be less than a Cat. 1.
May your insurance always be low in premiums and high in delivery.
May your debris piles all be small.
May Home Depot always be open.
And may all the turkeys in your life gobble and be sitting on your table, instead of talking and walking around, making you mutter, "WTF?"
Blessings, peace and joy,
Bonnie, who is now going to watch her hubby chainsaw the turkey
http://www.bonnievanak.com
May the wind always be at your back and be less than a Cat. 1.
May your insurance always be low in premiums and high in delivery.
May your debris piles all be small.
May Home Depot always be open.
And may all the turkeys in your life gobble and be sitting on your table, instead of talking and walking around, making you mutter, "WTF?"
Blessings, peace and joy,
Bonnie, who is now going to watch her hubby chainsaw the turkey
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Sexier men?
Are these men sexier than Matt? I think so. Just MHO.Let's start with Gerard. Mmmm...shirtless!
James Purefoy in a towel... oh yessssssssssss
George Eads from CSI... I modeled Marcus, my werewolf, after him...
Adrian! Who can go wrong with Adrian!
Of course Viggo... in bed... yum!
Oded... dark, sexy, bulging biceps. Always thought he'd make an excellent Jabari in a movie version of THE FALCON & THE DOVE, my first book...
Keanu isn't my type, but from the backside... I could change my mind!
And this guy... wouldn't you like to be a mattress right now? LOL!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Sexiest man alive?
Whew... Gamma is supposed to totally pass us. What a relief.. Yesterday we pulled another part of one tree stump out. The tree trimmer never showed up. The Florida room is still a wreck and the couch out there growing moldy with each rainfall. But at least Dh's roof repairs appear to hold up. The fencing guy might be here next Friday. I'm just praying we can get our roof replaced by NEXT hurricane season.In the meantime, I wrote a little yesterday! Woo hoo! First writing I've done in five weeks! I finished Marcus' love scene. He and Alysia are no longer in "coitus suspendus," lol. And People Magazine has named Matt as their sexiest man alive. Huh? I mean, he's cute but... honestly, I think there are sexier guys out there. Maybe it's the grin.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Friday, November 18, 2005
Tropical Storm Gamma sucks away Bonnie's last remaining sanity
I can't believe this...
I am so screwed. If this thing hits here, even as a tropical storm, we're in big trouble. Our roof will go for sure. I have no hurricane supplies. We ate them all after Wilma. No gas. Debris STILL PILED UP OUTSIDE OUR YARD!!!
Someone just shoot me. I just want to go hide in a corner and cry.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I am so screwed. If this thing hits here, even as a tropical storm, we're in big trouble. Our roof will go for sure. I have no hurricane supplies. We ate them all after Wilma. No gas. Debris STILL PILED UP OUTSIDE OUR YARD!!!
Someone just shoot me. I just want to go hide in a corner and cry.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Tree stumps, suspended sex & werewolves
Ouch. Today I realized I really hurt my thumb. Somehow, during the debris cleanup, I pulled the tendon away from the bone. So each time I go to wrap my thumb around something, it hurts. This is atop my bruised knee from falling on the tile floor last weekend, my assorted cuts and scrapes from carting debris to the curb.
As one friend put it, “You’re a walking disaster.”
Huh. The tree stumps in the back are still there. A tree guy promised to come take a look sometime in 2006. It’s raining… again. Each time it rains I get depressed about the hole in the roof, and the rain pouring through the crushed Florida room, wrecking whatever else remains out there we have no room to haul inside. Roofers tell me they are so backed up they are enlisting their mothers and grannies as helpers to cart roofing shingles and it will cost me $1 million to just get an estimate. I wanted to promise sex but that would only get me on a waiting list.
So here I am. And the one thing I really, really want to do is write Marcus’ and Alysia’s story. Marcus is a werewolf. I had written quite a bit of his story on vacation, but… I hate to admit it… I left him right in the middle of a sex scene. I mean… there he is, he and Alysia are, um, joined, I guess is the operative word. I meant to finish it. I did. But we had to get on the road and I never completed it. So Marcus is standing there, bending over the bed’s edge, part A inserted into her part B, forever suspended in time until I find time or energy to finish the scene.
I can imagine what is happening now in Marcus’ book world…He stands there, hunched over Alysia, enthralled and yet agonized because he is literally stuck…So the other characters from my Egyptian books walk in, giving advice….
Marcus: I can’t believe Bonnie just walked off and left me like this.
Alysia: How do you think I feel? I mean, we just start getting some nookie and I’m frozen in time? My back hurts. My legs ache from being spread so wide and damn, did you HAVE to press all that lovely muscled weight down on me? I feel like I’m on an ironing board beneath a steam roller.
In walks Jabari, Ramses, Kenneth, Graham and Tarik grown, characters from my past and future Khamsin Egyptian novels.
Marcus, snarling, tossing the sheet over Alysia to hide her nudity: Who the hell are you?
Jabari: I am sheik of the great Khamsin warriors of the wind. I am the first hero Bonnie created. I know her best. I am here to give you advice on your current situation.
Marcus: Current situation? Isn’t it a little obvious, shrek.
Ramses: That is sheikh. Show some respect.
Alysia: Uhhhrrr! I can’t see a thing under this sheet!
Graham: Perhaps if we toss some water on them…but that does not work on dogs.
Marcus, growling: I am not a dog. I am a werewolf.
Kenneth: You do look a little hairy…
Tarik: Look, we’re both in the same situation. Bonnie dropped the ball. She was going to write my story next, but I can’t even begin to get it on with my woman. At least you got this far. With
Fatima…
Ramses, growling: What is this about my daughter?
Tarik, hastily: Never mind.
Jabari: I know Bonnie best. She created me first. Until Bonnie gathers all her necessary energy and finds a spare moment to complete this act of love for Marcus and Alysia, I fear you are permanently stuck, Marcus.
Graham: She’s had too much stress lately. Between damage from the hurricane, displacement at the day job, trying to clean up, and trying to find roofers, tree people and trying to figure out how the hell she will cook a turkey on Thanksgiving, and worrying that her husband in his current lumberjack mania will use a chainsaw to carve it, she is not able to write.
Marcus: So that means I’m gonna stay like this, forever?
Jabari: I fear this is so. Until she returns to your story, you can’t go forward. Or back.
Alysia, beneath the sheet: Mmmmphhhh!
Graham, helpfully: It could be worse, Marcus. You could be paused on the brink of your release.
Ramses, nodding: Yes, indeed. Like backed up plumbing.
Kenneth: Maybe we should call that firm, Roto Rooter? And away will go trouble down the drain?
Marcus: Growls
http://www.bonnievanak.com
As one friend put it, “You’re a walking disaster.”
Huh. The tree stumps in the back are still there. A tree guy promised to come take a look sometime in 2006. It’s raining… again. Each time it rains I get depressed about the hole in the roof, and the rain pouring through the crushed Florida room, wrecking whatever else remains out there we have no room to haul inside. Roofers tell me they are so backed up they are enlisting their mothers and grannies as helpers to cart roofing shingles and it will cost me $1 million to just get an estimate. I wanted to promise sex but that would only get me on a waiting list.
So here I am. And the one thing I really, really want to do is write Marcus’ and Alysia’s story. Marcus is a werewolf. I had written quite a bit of his story on vacation, but… I hate to admit it… I left him right in the middle of a sex scene. I mean… there he is, he and Alysia are, um, joined, I guess is the operative word. I meant to finish it. I did. But we had to get on the road and I never completed it. So Marcus is standing there, bending over the bed’s edge, part A inserted into her part B, forever suspended in time until I find time or energy to finish the scene.
I can imagine what is happening now in Marcus’ book world…He stands there, hunched over Alysia, enthralled and yet agonized because he is literally stuck…So the other characters from my Egyptian books walk in, giving advice….
Marcus: I can’t believe Bonnie just walked off and left me like this.
Alysia: How do you think I feel? I mean, we just start getting some nookie and I’m frozen in time? My back hurts. My legs ache from being spread so wide and damn, did you HAVE to press all that lovely muscled weight down on me? I feel like I’m on an ironing board beneath a steam roller.
In walks Jabari, Ramses, Kenneth, Graham and Tarik grown, characters from my past and future Khamsin Egyptian novels.
Marcus, snarling, tossing the sheet over Alysia to hide her nudity: Who the hell are you?
Jabari: I am sheik of the great Khamsin warriors of the wind. I am the first hero Bonnie created. I know her best. I am here to give you advice on your current situation.
Marcus: Current situation? Isn’t it a little obvious, shrek.
Ramses: That is sheikh. Show some respect.
Alysia: Uhhhrrr! I can’t see a thing under this sheet!
Graham: Perhaps if we toss some water on them…but that does not work on dogs.
Marcus, growling: I am not a dog. I am a werewolf.
Kenneth: You do look a little hairy…
Tarik: Look, we’re both in the same situation. Bonnie dropped the ball. She was going to write my story next, but I can’t even begin to get it on with my woman. At least you got this far. With
Fatima…
Ramses, growling: What is this about my daughter?
Tarik, hastily: Never mind.
Jabari: I know Bonnie best. She created me first. Until Bonnie gathers all her necessary energy and finds a spare moment to complete this act of love for Marcus and Alysia, I fear you are permanently stuck, Marcus.
Graham: She’s had too much stress lately. Between damage from the hurricane, displacement at the day job, trying to clean up, and trying to find roofers, tree people and trying to figure out how the hell she will cook a turkey on Thanksgiving, and worrying that her husband in his current lumberjack mania will use a chainsaw to carve it, she is not able to write.
Marcus: So that means I’m gonna stay like this, forever?
Jabari: I fear this is so. Until she returns to your story, you can’t go forward. Or back.
Alysia, beneath the sheet: Mmmmphhhh!
Graham, helpfully: It could be worse, Marcus. You could be paused on the brink of your release.
Ramses, nodding: Yes, indeed. Like backed up plumbing.
Kenneth: Maybe we should call that firm, Roto Rooter? And away will go trouble down the drain?
Marcus: Growls
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
First book!
It's so much fun to see the excitement of a debut author when she has her very first book out.
The author is fellow writer Virginia Reede. She beat Blair (hear that Blair Valentine? ha ha ha!!), winning first place in the FF&P's On the Far Side contest in the erotica category. Witch's Knight debuts today at Ellora's Cave.
I'm so happy for her. This is what I love most about the romance business....sharing the joy and excitement. Here's a blurb from Witch's Knight. I can't wait to read it!
Sir Geoffrey has never believed in magic. Even so, when King Liam sends him in search of the mysterious witch of Caernathen, he has no choice but to obey. When his errand takes him to the beautiful and sensuous Leonore, he is soon entangled in her spells—and her bed.Leonore has always known exactly what she wants and needs from a man, and it seems that Geoffrey fits the bill in every way. But the king's purpose in sending for her—to help find and rescue the abducted Crown Prince—propels her on a mission more challenging than she could have anticipated.
Complicating matters are the king's court mystics, who are jealous of Leonore's superior power and King Liam's confidence in her. And they aren't the only ones who are jealous—Geoffrey finds that both Liam and Prince Wesley are competing for Leonore's affections.When Leonore finds herself in the position of having to choose between a king, a prince and a noble knight, everything she has come to believe about men, herself and the source of her magic will be challenged. She must decide between power—or love.
http://www.ellorascave.com/index.asp
The author is fellow writer Virginia Reede. She beat Blair (hear that Blair Valentine? ha ha ha!!), winning first place in the FF&P's On the Far Side contest in the erotica category. Witch's Knight debuts today at Ellora's Cave.
I'm so happy for her. This is what I love most about the romance business....sharing the joy and excitement. Here's a blurb from Witch's Knight. I can't wait to read it!
Sir Geoffrey has never believed in magic. Even so, when King Liam sends him in search of the mysterious witch of Caernathen, he has no choice but to obey. When his errand takes him to the beautiful and sensuous Leonore, he is soon entangled in her spells—and her bed.Leonore has always known exactly what she wants and needs from a man, and it seems that Geoffrey fits the bill in every way. But the king's purpose in sending for her—to help find and rescue the abducted Crown Prince—propels her on a mission more challenging than she could have anticipated.
Complicating matters are the king's court mystics, who are jealous of Leonore's superior power and King Liam's confidence in her. And they aren't the only ones who are jealous—Geoffrey finds that both Liam and Prince Wesley are competing for Leonore's affections.When Leonore finds herself in the position of having to choose between a king, a prince and a noble knight, everything she has come to believe about men, herself and the source of her magic will be challenged. She must decide between power—or love.
http://www.ellorascave.com/index.asp
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Shiver me timbers
Insurance adjustor turned out to be a very nice man. We should get a call in a couple of weeks. He definitely said we need a new roof and the Florida room is a total loss. So I'm a bit hopeful we can get enough money to at least get the roof done.
In the meantime, I'm sighing over this. Pirates in Paradise in Key West. December 2 is the day I'd love to be there for the pirate fair. I want to go! What fun to explore Key West's pirate history! But, sigh, we can't. Guess my pirate dreams must remain contained to corporate raiding, not sailing the wicked seas.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
In the meantime, I'm sighing over this. Pirates in Paradise in Key West. December 2 is the day I'd love to be there for the pirate fair. I want to go! What fun to explore Key West's pirate history! But, sigh, we can't. Guess my pirate dreams must remain contained to corporate raiding, not sailing the wicked seas.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Monday, November 14, 2005
My visitor tomorrow
The insurance adjustor will be here. I can't wait. Really. I can't. Honestly.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Secret writing
"I don't write not to be published. That would be some kind of punishment."
I read these words of author Joan Didion's today in an article in the Sun Sentinel about the upcoming Miami Book Fair. Didion, an author who has been published for 40 years, wrote a memoir about the death of her husband. It's called The Year of Magical Thinking. She writes the story of her husband's death and her dying daughter's illness, her own feelings, how she views doctors, how she couldn't part with her husband's shoes because "magical thinking" kept her believing one day he might return for them.
But it wasn't the book itself that caught my attention. It was that one small quote in the article by the author. She sat down to record her thoughts, feelings, memories after her husband died with full intention of getting the book published. She doesn't write "not to get published."
It threw me out of my usual Sunday morning lethargy. I wonder what the secret writers of the world think of her statement. Secret writing is my catchphrase for writing you scribble and never show to anyone because it's simply too personal, too painful, to share.
Didion's statement caught me off guard because I too, have written pages and pages about grieving. I have a journal that chronicles my mother's death from cancer, ten years ago next month (she died right before Christmas). I have journals chronicling other painful life events, from my first divorce to losing my first baby after years of struggling to get pregnant. It's my secret writing. Once or twice I've tried to assemble those essays into a coherent piece, but could not. It was as if they were meant to lie in a bedside drawer, silent, hidden away from the world, available to my eyes only.
I'm glad she wrote her book, because it appears it has helped others who also are grieving deeply and never show it. In this world, it seems people are all too eager to share in your success, but uneasy about sharing your grief. Yet I wish she hadn't said that about publication. How many brilliant, talented writers are struggling out with their own stories who don't write to get published, but write because they must write or simply die?
I've published three Egyptian historical romances as mass market paperbacks, with two more in the works due for publication in the upcoming months. I've published two e-books under Blair's name that I equally enjoyed writing. I write for publication, and yet, there are books in my drawers that I absolutely love that will never get published. I wrote them because I had to. Because there was something inside me that took hold of the idea and would not let it go.
Two weeks BW (Before Wilma, which is how I measure time now), a friend and I had breakfast. She asked me why I keep writing and working so hard with my writing when there simply is not much money in it. I didn't respond. I didn't respond because she isn't a writer. And she can't understand what it's like NOT to write.
Each time I've struggled with the notion of giving up writing, be it romance or the nonfiction pieces I toy with, it feels like part of me is gasping for air. I can't give up writing. I don't write for publication.
I don't write to be published.
I write because I must.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I read these words of author Joan Didion's today in an article in the Sun Sentinel about the upcoming Miami Book Fair. Didion, an author who has been published for 40 years, wrote a memoir about the death of her husband. It's called The Year of Magical Thinking. She writes the story of her husband's death and her dying daughter's illness, her own feelings, how she views doctors, how she couldn't part with her husband's shoes because "magical thinking" kept her believing one day he might return for them.
But it wasn't the book itself that caught my attention. It was that one small quote in the article by the author. She sat down to record her thoughts, feelings, memories after her husband died with full intention of getting the book published. She doesn't write "not to get published."
It threw me out of my usual Sunday morning lethargy. I wonder what the secret writers of the world think of her statement. Secret writing is my catchphrase for writing you scribble and never show to anyone because it's simply too personal, too painful, to share.
Didion's statement caught me off guard because I too, have written pages and pages about grieving. I have a journal that chronicles my mother's death from cancer, ten years ago next month (she died right before Christmas). I have journals chronicling other painful life events, from my first divorce to losing my first baby after years of struggling to get pregnant. It's my secret writing. Once or twice I've tried to assemble those essays into a coherent piece, but could not. It was as if they were meant to lie in a bedside drawer, silent, hidden away from the world, available to my eyes only.
I'm glad she wrote her book, because it appears it has helped others who also are grieving deeply and never show it. In this world, it seems people are all too eager to share in your success, but uneasy about sharing your grief. Yet I wish she hadn't said that about publication. How many brilliant, talented writers are struggling out with their own stories who don't write to get published, but write because they must write or simply die?
I've published three Egyptian historical romances as mass market paperbacks, with two more in the works due for publication in the upcoming months. I've published two e-books under Blair's name that I equally enjoyed writing. I write for publication, and yet, there are books in my drawers that I absolutely love that will never get published. I wrote them because I had to. Because there was something inside me that took hold of the idea and would not let it go.
Two weeks BW (Before Wilma, which is how I measure time now), a friend and I had breakfast. She asked me why I keep writing and working so hard with my writing when there simply is not much money in it. I didn't respond. I didn't respond because she isn't a writer. And she can't understand what it's like NOT to write.
Each time I've struggled with the notion of giving up writing, be it romance or the nonfiction pieces I toy with, it feels like part of me is gasping for air. I can't give up writing. I don't write for publication.
I don't write to be published.
I write because I must.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Beach
I heard our beaches were back open today. Was thinking about going, and would if we didn't have so much work to do. Seeing the ocean can be very relaxing...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Egyptian book excerpt
It's national novel writing month, I just realized. I'm still too drained, too exhausted and overwhelmed with hurricane damage to write. So I'm cheating. Here's an excerpt of my upcoming Egyptian historical, The Panther & the Pyramid. Maybe I'll just pretend I wrote it this month? This is the scene after they become lovers, anonymously, in a whorehouse. The first chapter is posted on my website.
The Panther & the Pyramid, copyright 2005 by Bonnie Vanak
He arrived late, as all expected of his title. Inside, he remained watchful for a red-headed nobleman.
Like a panther, he prowled the perimeter of the ballroom. Not listening to the feminine whispers fluttering in his wake. Ignoring the admiring stares and hastily dropped curtsys as he approached. As always, he lightly clasped his white dancing gloves. Rarely did he dance, and when he did, it was with a select few who caught his interest. Graham did not want to encourage speculation as to the possibility of a future bride.
Last year, his brother had consorted with these same people. Kenneth had come before them with his Egyptian accent and his Egyptian past. Money and rank gained him acceptance. Still, he stood out like a pyramid in the yellow London fog. A savage, they had thought of him.
Graham did not stand out. He blended, his accent nearly gone, his habits very English. He was respected as one of them, thought to have been raised by a proper English couple.
The truth would rock society back on their delicate heels. Graham had been captured by a warrior Egyptian tribe and learned to kill to survive. He was far more savage than his brother.
Faces swam before him in a blurred haze. Detached, he dropped a smile, making polite small talk and moving on. Tonight, his restlessness was too large to be temporarily caged by social chatting.
His eyes scanned the ballroom for a flash of red hair. He saw none. Until he turned and his gaze lighted upon a tall mass of flame gold curls. His heart raced.
It was her.
He spotted her across the crush of people. She stood out like a living flame on a blackened horizon. Graham could not breathe. He could not think, nor act, but simply stand, lips parted.
The red hair mesmerized him. He had not seen the full glory of those tresses, nor anticipated how the strands would wind around his heart, like a spider’s sticky silk.
He remembered her, naked before him. Skin to skin. Sweat slicking their bodies as they strained against each other. Strangers forging a brief bond in the flesh.
Shared passions. Hidden secrets.
Self-discipline and control shattered like brittle glass. Mesmerized, Graham began striding forward, mindless of the fawning stares cast his way.
Barely six feet away, he stopped. Daring her to see him.
She turned. Their gazes caught and held.
They could have been the only two people present.
Intense hunger filled him. Like an opium addict’s deep craving, it took hold with steely claws.
Graham stared, remembering the sweetness and hot passion in her arms.
He wanted to hold her in his arms again, even for a mere dance. She was his worst nightmare. And yet he could not help wanting her, again.
Though his instincts screamed a protest, his senses urged him to stop, turn and leave behind the sweetness of last night, he paid no heed. Graham, the aloof duke who rarely danced, tugged on his white dancing gloves, making his intentions perfectly clear.
“Look, the Duke of Caldwell. How striking he is,” Mary murmured.
Breath caught in Jillian’s throat. The Duke of Caldwell? She put a trembling hand to her coiled hair.
Graham. Her lover.
Clad in elegant black evening dress, he cut a regal, imposing figure. Women pivoted to stare. Ivory and lace fans waved madly as erratic butterflies. Whispers drifted through the enormous ballroom like mist. Several pairs of admiring eyes affixed to him as he wound his way through the ballroom. Young girls preened. Older women simpered.
Jillian simply stood motionless. Her heart thudded an erratic beat against her chest.
She remembered him in the male glory of his nudity. Powerful muscles sculpting his shoulders, the clean lines of long bones and hard flesh.
His body covered now in severe black silk, white waistcoat and tie. Thick ebony hair swept across his forehead. Those piercing, dark eyes remained guarded in their gaze.
Regarding her across the floor as he advanced. His loose-limbed, graceful stride reminded her of a powerful jungle cat.
The fleeting image of a leopard came to mind. A black leopard, sleek in formal wear, stalking prey. Her.
Jillian braced herself, forced a smile to her face.
An amazing change came over the matrons as he approached. They twittered and curtseyed, and a distant sparkle lit their eyes. When he stood silently before her, she automatically glanced at her aunt. Aunt Mary’s stern look softened. She swept him an elegant curtsy.
“Your Grace. How good to see you again. It was indeed a pleasure meeting you at the Knightsbridges’ assembly.”
Graham nodded, his eyes searching Jillian’s face. “Mrs. Huntington, may I have the acquaintance of your charge?”
His voice was smooth and deep, the burn of whiskey sliding down a parched throat. The burn of whiskers rasping across the tender flesh of her throat, as heated as his kisses…
Jillian automatically put a gloved hand to her flushed neck in remembrance. Her aunt’s gaze riveted to Jillian. “Your Grace, Lady Jillian Stranton, daughter of the earl of Stranton. My niece. Lady Jillian, His Grace, the Duke of Caldwell.”
By rote, she sank into a deep curtsy, knees wobbling so precariously it was a marvel she didn’t collapse upon her skirts. Graham nodded toward her dance card, the short pencil dangling from it.
“May I have the pleasure of the next waltz?” he asked.
Her dry lips moved. Bernard had requested that one. “I’m afraid the next dance is taken, Your Grace.”
“Then I must find one that is available.”
Graham picked up her dance card, penciled in his name. His dark, knowing gaze buried into hers. He dropped the card, gently grazing her gloved wrist. Heat blazed between them, a living, writhing thing. The pencil swayed from her trembling wrist.
“Until then,” he murmured.With a shaking hand, Jillian scanned the card. The dance right after Bernard’s. His.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
The Panther & the Pyramid, copyright 2005 by Bonnie Vanak
He arrived late, as all expected of his title. Inside, he remained watchful for a red-headed nobleman.
Like a panther, he prowled the perimeter of the ballroom. Not listening to the feminine whispers fluttering in his wake. Ignoring the admiring stares and hastily dropped curtsys as he approached. As always, he lightly clasped his white dancing gloves. Rarely did he dance, and when he did, it was with a select few who caught his interest. Graham did not want to encourage speculation as to the possibility of a future bride.
Last year, his brother had consorted with these same people. Kenneth had come before them with his Egyptian accent and his Egyptian past. Money and rank gained him acceptance. Still, he stood out like a pyramid in the yellow London fog. A savage, they had thought of him.
Graham did not stand out. He blended, his accent nearly gone, his habits very English. He was respected as one of them, thought to have been raised by a proper English couple.
The truth would rock society back on their delicate heels. Graham had been captured by a warrior Egyptian tribe and learned to kill to survive. He was far more savage than his brother.
Faces swam before him in a blurred haze. Detached, he dropped a smile, making polite small talk and moving on. Tonight, his restlessness was too large to be temporarily caged by social chatting.
His eyes scanned the ballroom for a flash of red hair. He saw none. Until he turned and his gaze lighted upon a tall mass of flame gold curls. His heart raced.
It was her.
He spotted her across the crush of people. She stood out like a living flame on a blackened horizon. Graham could not breathe. He could not think, nor act, but simply stand, lips parted.
The red hair mesmerized him. He had not seen the full glory of those tresses, nor anticipated how the strands would wind around his heart, like a spider’s sticky silk.
He remembered her, naked before him. Skin to skin. Sweat slicking their bodies as they strained against each other. Strangers forging a brief bond in the flesh.
Shared passions. Hidden secrets.
Self-discipline and control shattered like brittle glass. Mesmerized, Graham began striding forward, mindless of the fawning stares cast his way.
Barely six feet away, he stopped. Daring her to see him.
She turned. Their gazes caught and held.
They could have been the only two people present.
Intense hunger filled him. Like an opium addict’s deep craving, it took hold with steely claws.
Graham stared, remembering the sweetness and hot passion in her arms.
He wanted to hold her in his arms again, even for a mere dance. She was his worst nightmare. And yet he could not help wanting her, again.
Though his instincts screamed a protest, his senses urged him to stop, turn and leave behind the sweetness of last night, he paid no heed. Graham, the aloof duke who rarely danced, tugged on his white dancing gloves, making his intentions perfectly clear.
“Look, the Duke of Caldwell. How striking he is,” Mary murmured.
Breath caught in Jillian’s throat. The Duke of Caldwell? She put a trembling hand to her coiled hair.
Graham. Her lover.
Clad in elegant black evening dress, he cut a regal, imposing figure. Women pivoted to stare. Ivory and lace fans waved madly as erratic butterflies. Whispers drifted through the enormous ballroom like mist. Several pairs of admiring eyes affixed to him as he wound his way through the ballroom. Young girls preened. Older women simpered.
Jillian simply stood motionless. Her heart thudded an erratic beat against her chest.
She remembered him in the male glory of his nudity. Powerful muscles sculpting his shoulders, the clean lines of long bones and hard flesh.
His body covered now in severe black silk, white waistcoat and tie. Thick ebony hair swept across his forehead. Those piercing, dark eyes remained guarded in their gaze.
Regarding her across the floor as he advanced. His loose-limbed, graceful stride reminded her of a powerful jungle cat.
The fleeting image of a leopard came to mind. A black leopard, sleek in formal wear, stalking prey. Her.
Jillian braced herself, forced a smile to her face.
An amazing change came over the matrons as he approached. They twittered and curtseyed, and a distant sparkle lit their eyes. When he stood silently before her, she automatically glanced at her aunt. Aunt Mary’s stern look softened. She swept him an elegant curtsy.
“Your Grace. How good to see you again. It was indeed a pleasure meeting you at the Knightsbridges’ assembly.”
Graham nodded, his eyes searching Jillian’s face. “Mrs. Huntington, may I have the acquaintance of your charge?”
His voice was smooth and deep, the burn of whiskey sliding down a parched throat. The burn of whiskers rasping across the tender flesh of her throat, as heated as his kisses…
Jillian automatically put a gloved hand to her flushed neck in remembrance. Her aunt’s gaze riveted to Jillian. “Your Grace, Lady Jillian Stranton, daughter of the earl of Stranton. My niece. Lady Jillian, His Grace, the Duke of Caldwell.”
By rote, she sank into a deep curtsy, knees wobbling so precariously it was a marvel she didn’t collapse upon her skirts. Graham nodded toward her dance card, the short pencil dangling from it.
“May I have the pleasure of the next waltz?” he asked.
Her dry lips moved. Bernard had requested that one. “I’m afraid the next dance is taken, Your Grace.”
“Then I must find one that is available.”
Graham picked up her dance card, penciled in his name. His dark, knowing gaze buried into hers. He dropped the card, gently grazing her gloved wrist. Heat blazed between them, a living, writhing thing. The pencil swayed from her trembling wrist.
“Until then,” he murmured.With a shaking hand, Jillian scanned the card. The dance right after Bernard’s. His.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Where's the brain cells? Gone with the wind.
It's time I admitted something I've been trying not to think about since the hurricane.I still can't believe how stupid I was...
this is a photo I took of the Florida room a half an hour before the tree fell on it. It was right in the middle of the storm. Winds were whipping and I stepped into the room for a minute to see the action. Took a photo. It's too dark to see how furious the wind was blowing.
This is a photo of our Florida room and what happened a half an hour later. (The photo was taken after the storm)
Had I been standing in the room when the tree fell, I'd have been struck on the head. Maybe killed.
I honestly did not take this storm that seriously. Maybe because Hurricane Frances fooled me last year. A three day nightmare, slow moving hurricane where the winds were blowing, but not so hard. We even opened the windows to let in fresh air after the power went out last year. Hell, we were staying in this room to read because it was so dark in the house!
I hate to admit it but I think I didn't have a brain three weeks ago when Hurricane Wilma hit. I have nightmare visions of being killed by that falling tree, and then seeing the autopsy, just like on CSI, my new fav. TV show. Nick Stokes (what a hottie!) and the doctor are peering into my head.
Nick: What is it, Doc? What are these two objects? Gummy bears?
Doc, shaking his head in sad disbelief: No Nick, they are Bonnie's last two brain cells. I think they were fighting each other the day of the hurricane.
Nick: You mean, when the tree fell on her house and she was standing there in the most vulnerable room of the house, watching the hurricane?
Doc: Yup, I'm afraid the cause of death is... Stupiditus.
Nick, sighing: What a shame. I bet she lost the few good brain cells with the falling barometric pressure. If only she had listened to Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel...
I swear upon whatever malfunctioning brain cells are in my head, that I will Never, Ever, EVER...
Not Take A Hurricane Seriously. Ever Again.
Next time, even if it's barely a Cat. 1, I'm outta here. Dh will STILL have to work at the hospital, leaving me alone again. So I'm taking me, the dogs, the parrot...
And my stupid brain cells.
And getting the hell out of Dodge.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Mine's the BIGGEST!!!
If you type biggest dong, no quote marks, into Google's search engine, my web site is NUMBER ONE!!!
Penis enlargement spammers, beware! Out of more than 1 million dongers, mine is bigger than yours! Ha ha!
Try it!
Ah yes, these days I am so easily amused by the little, er, I mean the BIGGEST, things.
Penis enlargement spammers, beware! Out of more than 1 million dongers, mine is bigger than yours! Ha ha!
Try it!
Ah yes, these days I am so easily amused by the little, er, I mean the BIGGEST, things.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Klaatu Barada Nikto.
WE got our cable back today and this a.m. instead of working, I watched THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL.
figured it was quite fitting, watching life stand still in the 1950's while half of my county still doesn't have power.
I was trying to puzzle out the words, "Klaatu Barada Nikto. " For those unfamiliar with this classic movie, 'dem is the words Patricia Neal's character speaks to Gort, the robot, to prevent him from DESTROYING THE WORLD.
Or so we believe.
I think "Klaatu Barada Nikto" can stand for many meanings, depending upon said situation.
For example, if your power is out for 10 days straight and FPL forgot you, it can mean, "Restore power immediately or I shall run amok with my gas powered hedge trimmer and turn my neighbor's greenery into chaos!"
Or, "Will you adjust my cable bill for the days I was without or must I sic my hungry Rottweiller on your billing people?"
Or, "If I have to wait in another 64 hour gas line again, I shall destroy all in my path! Love, me."
Personally, I'd rather think that it advocates peace, love and harmony.
"Klaatu Barada Nikto."
The perfect phrase every South Florida homeowner NEEDS to hear:
"SEND IN THE INSURANCE ADJUSTOR WITH A BIG FAT CHECK!!!"
figured it was quite fitting, watching life stand still in the 1950's while half of my county still doesn't have power.
I was trying to puzzle out the words, "Klaatu Barada Nikto. " For those unfamiliar with this classic movie, 'dem is the words Patricia Neal's character speaks to Gort, the robot, to prevent him from DESTROYING THE WORLD.
Or so we believe.
I think "Klaatu Barada Nikto" can stand for many meanings, depending upon said situation.
For example, if your power is out for 10 days straight and FPL forgot you, it can mean, "Restore power immediately or I shall run amok with my gas powered hedge trimmer and turn my neighbor's greenery into chaos!"
Or, "Will you adjust my cable bill for the days I was without or must I sic my hungry Rottweiller on your billing people?"
Or, "If I have to wait in another 64 hour gas line again, I shall destroy all in my path! Love, me."
Personally, I'd rather think that it advocates peace, love and harmony.
"Klaatu Barada Nikto."
The perfect phrase every South Florida homeowner NEEDS to hear:
"SEND IN THE INSURANCE ADJUSTOR WITH A BIG FAT CHECK!!!"
LOOK MA!!! I'm Uncle Fester!!!
I figured there had to be a "bright" side to this electrocution thingie.
I went to the garage, found a 60W light bulb and stuck it into my mouth just like Uncle Fester in THE ADAMS FAMILY.
WOW! I light up like a Christmas tree at Rockefellera Center in NY CITYA!!!
I figure there is gold in dem lights.
I'm gonna rent myself out as a walking, talking eletrical appliance for those still without power. Like my FIL.
He has NO power. So I figure, $5 an hour as a living light appliance. Hey, I'll be cheap. $25 for the whole damn night. Just stick a 60 watt bulb in my mouth, and I'll shine da light on your home all night. Stand there like a living light pole. Just like Unca Fester.
Forget FPL. Forget Kansas City linemen or the rugged, cute, Texas boys we saw last night at da restaurant, eating beef, slugging down beer and being cheered by the rest of the diners for their hard work.
You, the powerless and the forgotten, now have MOI! Bonnie, da light extraordinaire! Fired up by a shocking jolt of 220 W, she now can power a measly, but still working, 60 watt bulb to light up your life.
'course I will NOT see what happens if you try to plug into my "other" end.
God only knows what kind of electrical shock DH is due for...
hee hee hee!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I went to the garage, found a 60W light bulb and stuck it into my mouth just like Uncle Fester in THE ADAMS FAMILY.
WOW! I light up like a Christmas tree at Rockefellera Center in NY CITYA!!!
I figure there is gold in dem lights.
I'm gonna rent myself out as a walking, talking eletrical appliance for those still without power. Like my FIL.
He has NO power. So I figure, $5 an hour as a living light appliance. Hey, I'll be cheap. $25 for the whole damn night. Just stick a 60 watt bulb in my mouth, and I'll shine da light on your home all night. Stand there like a living light pole. Just like Unca Fester.
Forget FPL. Forget Kansas City linemen or the rugged, cute, Texas boys we saw last night at da restaurant, eating beef, slugging down beer and being cheered by the rest of the diners for their hard work.
You, the powerless and the forgotten, now have MOI! Bonnie, da light extraordinaire! Fired up by a shocking jolt of 220 W, she now can power a measly, but still working, 60 watt bulb to light up your life.
'course I will NOT see what happens if you try to plug into my "other" end.
God only knows what kind of electrical shock DH is due for...
hee hee hee!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
shocking
i went to turn on the hot water heater. didn't realize the plastic guard was off.
touched the metal tab. it was wired with 220 volts.
ouch.
my hand is still hurting.
my house is still a disaster zone. my good friend just got laid off. roofers are trying to pressure me into signing up with them or we'll never get our holey roof fixed.
someone please tell me it will get better. or just shoot me.
touched the metal tab. it was wired with 220 volts.
ouch.
my hand is still hurting.
my house is still a disaster zone. my good friend just got laid off. roofers are trying to pressure me into signing up with them or we'll never get our holey roof fixed.
someone please tell me it will get better. or just shoot me.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
My man has 18"
I knew I was in trouble when his car pulled up and he had a gleam in his eye. Following my DH was our friend and neighbor.
DH got out and whipped it out... the 18" that will obsess him all weekend. Our friend's eyes lit up with jealous appreciation.
"Wow," he mumured. "Haven't seen one of those in a long time. You're so lucky."
I had tremendous fear DH would hurt himself. Did he know how to handle those 18"? What about me? All I was used to was a wimpy 12" that barely worked and DH had to really apply himself to get the job done.
But I think those 18" will come in handy, despite my fears.
The 18" is a brand new chainsaw. I stood there like a nervous wife, hand wringing, as they stroked her chaisse and fingered her chain with ooohhs and ahhhs. And then they set to it, cutting up part of the tree downed in front.
Wood chips flew. Dh had a mad grin on his face. The look was there. NEW TOY!
This weekend, we have a date with a chainsaw. Oh boy. I can't wait.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
DH got out and whipped it out... the 18" that will obsess him all weekend. Our friend's eyes lit up with jealous appreciation.
"Wow," he mumured. "Haven't seen one of those in a long time. You're so lucky."
I had tremendous fear DH would hurt himself. Did he know how to handle those 18"? What about me? All I was used to was a wimpy 12" that barely worked and DH had to really apply himself to get the job done.
But I think those 18" will come in handy, despite my fears.
The 18" is a brand new chainsaw. I stood there like a nervous wife, hand wringing, as they stroked her chaisse and fingered her chain with ooohhs and ahhhs. And then they set to it, cutting up part of the tree downed in front.
Wood chips flew. Dh had a mad grin on his face. The look was there. NEW TOY!
This weekend, we have a date with a chainsaw. Oh boy. I can't wait.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
A love story
She had been breathlessly awaiting his arrival all day. When he walked through the door, she launched herself at him like a skyrocket.
"Whoa there," he said, laughing. "Don't worry. I won't back out."
"You'd better not," she said, smiling and so happy to see him. Her heart raced madly. Oh, he looked so good, she just couldn't believe he was hers. All for the next hour. She grabbed his hand.
"Back here," she ordered. "We've no time to waste."
She led him to the right spot. Breath caught in her lungs as he bent over, the tight clasp of his low riding jeans squeezing him like a bum squeezing a dollar.
"Right here?" he asked gently. "Do you want me to do it now?"
"Oh, yes, yes, yes!" she screamed. "Do me now! DO IT, DO IT!"
Her screams of esctasy filled the air. She didn't care if the neighbors heard. As he removed his enormous hammer, she gloried in the sight of its thick, long shaft.
Far too long she had been denied. Far too long she had waited, heard stories of his tremendous prowess as he satisfied all the desperate housewives in the neighborhood. Now, at last, it was her turn. As he began to pound his tool, she shook with unbridled joy, feeling something she had not felt in ages.
Utter satisfaction.
For at last... the roofer... had come.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
"Whoa there," he said, laughing. "Don't worry. I won't back out."
"You'd better not," she said, smiling and so happy to see him. Her heart raced madly. Oh, he looked so good, she just couldn't believe he was hers. All for the next hour. She grabbed his hand.
"Back here," she ordered. "We've no time to waste."
She led him to the right spot. Breath caught in her lungs as he bent over, the tight clasp of his low riding jeans squeezing him like a bum squeezing a dollar.
"Right here?" he asked gently. "Do you want me to do it now?"
"Oh, yes, yes, yes!" she screamed. "Do me now! DO IT, DO IT!"
Her screams of esctasy filled the air. She didn't care if the neighbors heard. As he removed his enormous hammer, she gloried in the sight of its thick, long shaft.
Far too long she had been denied. Far too long she had waited, heard stories of his tremendous prowess as he satisfied all the desperate housewives in the neighborhood. Now, at last, it was her turn. As he began to pound his tool, she shook with unbridled joy, feeling something she had not felt in ages.
Utter satisfaction.
For at last... the roofer... had come.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Saved by the bra
For our ten year anniversary, DH had given me a small diamond heart pendant on a thin gold chain. I've been wearing it daily, and today went to work with it on.
This morning, I went to feel for it and it was gone. Panicked. My heart is gone, I told everyone.
We're all lined up like a boiler room, computers on tables. Then someone asked, "Did you look down your shirt?"
I peeked down inside my shirt and said in embarrassment, "It's in my bra."Everyone laughed and applauded. My heart was saved by my bra.
Today found out one of our favorite parks to bike ride in is closed until April. It was only 3 miles away from our house, featured large, shady trees, a string of lakes threading through the park. It reminded me of parks I frequented in NJ. Now it's trashed. Sigh...One day at a time. One day at a time.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
This morning, I went to feel for it and it was gone. Panicked. My heart is gone, I told everyone.
We're all lined up like a boiler room, computers on tables. Then someone asked, "Did you look down your shirt?"
I peeked down inside my shirt and said in embarrassment, "It's in my bra."Everyone laughed and applauded. My heart was saved by my bra.
Today found out one of our favorite parks to bike ride in is closed until April. It was only 3 miles away from our house, featured large, shady trees, a string of lakes threading through the park. It reminded me of parks I frequented in NJ. Now it's trashed. Sigh...One day at a time. One day at a time.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
OY
There's a train car in New Mexico called the O.Y. "O" stands for operational, meaning it doesn't earn money, and "Y" is the letter assigned to it. It's a snowblower, but Dh and I joke that it's the OY car, the car you take on the tracks when things are piled too high.
We need the OY car here in South Florida.
Our power is back on, thank you God! I was ready to lose my mind yesterday. Between worrying about our roof and then losing power... It's a good thing we got it back, too, as right after, DH ran down to our friend's house with the last of our gas to give him for the generator we loaned him. He had maybe 1 gallon left in the generator. Our friend and his wife had to do an emergency rescue of people in a nearby retirement community.
we had four inches of rain yesterday in South Florida. In that retirement community, the ceiling collapsed.
A lot of ceilings collapsed all over. In Palm Beach county, 50,000 homes are structurely unsound and condemned. Those people are homeless.
In our county, 1,000 people are now homeless. They had to literally rush out of their apartments, condos and homes in the pouring rain as it rain into what was left of their homes. Many are elderly. They are confused. They don't know the hell what to do.
So here I am, back with power, feeling grateful, feeling relieved and feeling awful for those who lost everything. I wish I could help, but what the hell can I do? I'm just hanging in there one day at a time myself. Praying our roof will hold and we too, won't have to rush out in the rain with what little we can gather. It's shocking and sad how one day you go from wondering about what you'll cook for Thanksgiving dinner to worrying about if the roof will hold.
Yup, the OY car. We need it here in South Florida. Because all I can do is look around at my house, those who have it much worse than me and say, "Oy. What a freaking mess."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
We need the OY car here in South Florida.
Our power is back on, thank you God! I was ready to lose my mind yesterday. Between worrying about our roof and then losing power... It's a good thing we got it back, too, as right after, DH ran down to our friend's house with the last of our gas to give him for the generator we loaned him. He had maybe 1 gallon left in the generator. Our friend and his wife had to do an emergency rescue of people in a nearby retirement community.
we had four inches of rain yesterday in South Florida. In that retirement community, the ceiling collapsed.
A lot of ceilings collapsed all over. In Palm Beach county, 50,000 homes are structurely unsound and condemned. Those people are homeless.
In our county, 1,000 people are now homeless. They had to literally rush out of their apartments, condos and homes in the pouring rain as it rain into what was left of their homes. Many are elderly. They are confused. They don't know the hell what to do.
So here I am, back with power, feeling grateful, feeling relieved and feeling awful for those who lost everything. I wish I could help, but what the hell can I do? I'm just hanging in there one day at a time myself. Praying our roof will hold and we too, won't have to rush out in the rain with what little we can gather. It's shocking and sad how one day you go from wondering about what you'll cook for Thanksgiving dinner to worrying about if the roof will hold.
Yup, the OY car. We need it here in South Florida. Because all I can do is look around at my house, those who have it much worse than me and say, "Oy. What a freaking mess."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
We lost power, again
I'm ready to just shoot myself.
Transformer blew, the neighbors told me. Happened while I was at work. We just had a wicked downpour and the transformer blew up. Smoking. I came home and the dogs are terrified. They can't stop panting. I'm trying to calm them down as the parrot is shrieking. I'm about to lose my damn mind.
The only good news is I THINK the patchwork DH did on the roof is holding up. I don't see a leak.
Yet.
The irony is, we gave away our generator to friends who didn't have power yet. So here we are, powerless, no generator.
That will teach us for being nice.
#&@*#&@*#&*@&#*@&
Transformer blew, the neighbors told me. Happened while I was at work. We just had a wicked downpour and the transformer blew up. Smoking. I came home and the dogs are terrified. They can't stop panting. I'm trying to calm them down as the parrot is shrieking. I'm about to lose my damn mind.
The only good news is I THINK the patchwork DH did on the roof is holding up. I don't see a leak.
Yet.
The irony is, we gave away our generator to friends who didn't have power yet. So here we are, powerless, no generator.
That will teach us for being nice.
#&@*#&@*#&*@&#*@&
Saving the bar
It's raining.
I'm depressed and scared. I hope the repairs DH did to the roof will hold and the two-foot hole is okay and won't leak. And there's what's left of the florida room... the roof on that tore off from the house roof and rain will pour inside what's left of the room...
The bar is still in there. I forgot to get it out.
It's a solid wood bar, one his dad gave us. Been in his family for years. I just moved it out of the direct hole in the roof so rain won't drip on it, but when water starts pouring into the florida room, the bottom will get wet and rot.
Maybe I can get some guys from work to sneak away and save the bar.
There's just so many things to try to think of... and my brain has turned into cottage cheese. Last night the power flickered again. We held our breath. Today it's hot and sticky. We have no a/c. DH won't test run it until he blows the foot of wood chips out of the fan outside. He's afraid if he doesn't, the chips will jam the fan motor and then we're really screwed.
Good luck in finding an a/c repair person now. Nothing much is open. Even the Publix by me still has no power. the dunkin donuts has no power. Very few businesses are open.
I need to save the bar today. Somehow. Someway. I've got to shake off this damn depression. It's not helping.
Still can't get hold of my insurance company. I really do think the agents packed their bags and are living in Argentina.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I'm depressed and scared. I hope the repairs DH did to the roof will hold and the two-foot hole is okay and won't leak. And there's what's left of the florida room... the roof on that tore off from the house roof and rain will pour inside what's left of the room...
The bar is still in there. I forgot to get it out.
It's a solid wood bar, one his dad gave us. Been in his family for years. I just moved it out of the direct hole in the roof so rain won't drip on it, but when water starts pouring into the florida room, the bottom will get wet and rot.
Maybe I can get some guys from work to sneak away and save the bar.
There's just so many things to try to think of... and my brain has turned into cottage cheese. Last night the power flickered again. We held our breath. Today it's hot and sticky. We have no a/c. DH won't test run it until he blows the foot of wood chips out of the fan outside. He's afraid if he doesn't, the chips will jam the fan motor and then we're really screwed.
Good luck in finding an a/c repair person now. Nothing much is open. Even the Publix by me still has no power. the dunkin donuts has no power. Very few businesses are open.
I need to save the bar today. Somehow. Someway. I've got to shake off this damn depression. It's not helping.
Still can't get hold of my insurance company. I really do think the agents packed their bags and are living in Argentina.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!
Power keeps flickering. Wind howling outside. Broken electric meter and high wind...
Equals losing power? AGAIN?
FPL can't fix broken meter for at least ten zillion months. Or until I die and am buried in an air-conditioned casket.
No more. Cold Showers. No. More. Canned Barfaroni.
Nooooooooooooo!!!!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Florida chainsaw massacre
Where was Leatherface when I needed him?
I would have made him a great trade. "Dude," I'd have said, "Loan us your killer chainsaw and cut down the tree that's on the hot tub and I'll give you my right leg."
My right leg is killing me now, anyway. Doesn't the bible say, "If your right leg offends thee, cut it off"?
Did Jesus ever chop down a 40-foot tree with a wimpy chainsaw that can barely cut butter?
We had no help today. The great-looking men with chainsaws Cindy Cruciger has spotted are NOT in my area. All our friends had mysteriously vanished. Dh had to get the tree, the "small" one off the hot tub.
He had a dinky chainsaw that was about as effective as a kindergartner's rounded scissors. But we had no choice. So we set at it. FIL was here, he picked up branches.
Dh sawed. I hauled.
We worked 9 hours on the one tree. Finally, we have a backyard. I think there's grass back there.
I took two muscle relaxers and I'm slowly killing a bottle of wine. I still have major back pain. I think I'll go for gas tomorrow. I just hope Dh doesn't file a missing person's report while I'm in a gas line. Work is open. They are squeezing us into a small space. They're called bathrooms. The new printer is a spool of toilet paper and a Sharpie.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I would have made him a great trade. "Dude," I'd have said, "Loan us your killer chainsaw and cut down the tree that's on the hot tub and I'll give you my right leg."
My right leg is killing me now, anyway. Doesn't the bible say, "If your right leg offends thee, cut it off"?
Did Jesus ever chop down a 40-foot tree with a wimpy chainsaw that can barely cut butter?
We had no help today. The great-looking men with chainsaws Cindy Cruciger has spotted are NOT in my area. All our friends had mysteriously vanished. Dh had to get the tree, the "small" one off the hot tub.
He had a dinky chainsaw that was about as effective as a kindergartner's rounded scissors. But we had no choice. So we set at it. FIL was here, he picked up branches.
Dh sawed. I hauled.
We worked 9 hours on the one tree. Finally, we have a backyard. I think there's grass back there.
I took two muscle relaxers and I'm slowly killing a bottle of wine. I still have major back pain. I think I'll go for gas tomorrow. I just hope Dh doesn't file a missing person's report while I'm in a gas line. Work is open. They are squeezing us into a small space. They're called bathrooms. The new printer is a spool of toilet paper and a Sharpie.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Florida room
Before Wilma, at Christmas when Tiger was cold and I bundled him up...
And this is what it looks like now... But rooms can be rebuilt...eventually. Lives can't. 11 more people in South Florida died post Wilma, from generator fumes, falling off roofs, you name it.
I have hopes I can see an insurance adjustor sometime in the next century... and maybe then we can get the new roof we need.
I also believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy... lol...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Before and after
What would the Pope do?
This is what I did all day yesterday. Well, I was just posing. Our neighbor cut up the tree. I helped haul pieces to the swale.
It was a beautiful, shady tree. Doug, our neighbor, said it had to be at least a half century old. Hardwood, he thinks it might have been mahogany. I wanted to save a small piece, just to grieve. I love trees. I keep telling myself we are blessed and so much better off, despite the damage. Our house is liveable. We have power. Last night a friend came over to shower and do laundry. Half of Broward still has no power and some may not get it back until Nov. 22. Many are suffering greatly, with no jobs and no homes. Many are elderly.
It really annoyed me to read the paper this morning, the first paper we've otten since the storm hit last Monday.
Some guy paid nearly $700,000 for Pope John Paul II's old Ford Escort. It was the kind of car JP II would drive, kinda rundown, ratty, economical. So what would JP II, who always advocated helping the poor, say about spending that ridiculous amount on his car?
He wouldn't like it. And he'd say to the guy who said he wanted it as a reason to get close to JP II's spirit, go help the poor. If you don't want to help them in other countries, there's enough of them right here in the good ole USA.
Like my fellow residents in Broward. Many are jobless, permanently, or won't get paychecks until businesses open. And the evictions are beginning. The county is starting to evict people because some houses or apartments are too damaged to live in. So where are these people supposed to go? Shelters are the last option.
Hurricane Beta is slamming into Nicaragua now. I can't read about it. It's too heartbreaking.
Yesterday we got a lot accomplished. I'm trying to focus on the positive, like our neighbor who came over with his huge power chainsaw when he saw DH struggling to cut the monster tree out front with his puny electric chainsaw. Doug reves up the power chainsaw, and says, "Here, let me help."
He worked ALL AFTERNOON on that tree, cutting it into pieces, thankfully removing the dangerous limb that was hanging over our neighbor's roof. Refused to take anything for it. Said he didn't need anything. DH promised him free electrical work when he needs it. DH and I worked all day trying to remove the tree debris and pile it onto the swale. Every muscle in my body hurts, but it's a good feeling.
I'm trying hard not to get depressed. Like I said, we're blessed. Our house is liveable. What gets me is all around me, my neighbor's houses look terrific. Across the street, our neighbor's house looks like House & Garden. She was trimming her hedges the day after the hurricane, while I was standing outside in shock looking at the wreckage of my yard.
She really bugged the hell out of me, trimming those damn hedges.
Today I'm hopeful we can get to the tree on the hot tub that is blocking 75% of the backyard. If Dh can get the side gate fixed, or even just smash it so we can get in that way, it will make it easier. The root balls of the trees out back are blocking the south side of the yard. Doug told us some tree trimmers are charging $1,000 just to take out the root balls.
The root ball of our tree in the front yard, tipped on its side, is about 15 feet in diameter. Oy.
Okay, must concentrate on good news. We killed a rat last night. Big sucker. He's gone to the great Attic in the Sky. And I have power. I have power. I have power. Today I am going to Target. I heard there is one open. I'm buying Halloween decorations. Damnit, even if we get no kids trick or treating tomorrow, I need to decorate and act like life is normal.
Maybe I'll go get the dead rat out of the garbage and put it on my prissy neighbor's manicured lawn. Just the idea greatly cheers me.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Oh, rats
They're in the attic.
Must have come inside right after teh hurricane ripped a hole in the roof when the temps dropped down to 56 degrees that night. And now they are sealed inside because DH fixed the hole with plywood. I saw one this morning when I was online, as I had insomnia. It marched across the train tracks back into the attic. See, the train running in our house goes through the attic. So now the rats are using the tracks as an express lane to get into the house.
DH put traps up there. Before Wilma, I would have freaked out with rats running into my house. Now it's just another thing to deal with and move on.
GOOD news... I have fresh meat! Publix was open in Boca, my friend and I went there a couple of hours ago. I grabbed what I could, pork hamburger meat, you name it. Fresh milk! woo hoo! It was a zoo. No real frozen items but pizza. They are the only store open with full power able to stock perishables. And they are the only place open with a working ATM. On the way back we drove down Federal. OMG, there are 4 high voltage power lines lying in the highway! Federal is down to one lane only...and the marina is totally destroyed.
Tonight my friend is grilling out and we're doing a party, with a bonfire with some of my dead tree. I think we need some sort of normalcy. Another friend called and she's clinging to sanity with both hands, as the generator her brother brought down is broken. She still has no power. I can't believe how lucky we are to have power.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Must have come inside right after teh hurricane ripped a hole in the roof when the temps dropped down to 56 degrees that night. And now they are sealed inside because DH fixed the hole with plywood. I saw one this morning when I was online, as I had insomnia. It marched across the train tracks back into the attic. See, the train running in our house goes through the attic. So now the rats are using the tracks as an express lane to get into the house.
DH put traps up there. Before Wilma, I would have freaked out with rats running into my house. Now it's just another thing to deal with and move on.
GOOD news... I have fresh meat! Publix was open in Boca, my friend and I went there a couple of hours ago. I grabbed what I could, pork hamburger meat, you name it. Fresh milk! woo hoo! It was a zoo. No real frozen items but pizza. They are the only store open with full power able to stock perishables. And they are the only place open with a working ATM. On the way back we drove down Federal. OMG, there are 4 high voltage power lines lying in the highway! Federal is down to one lane only...and the marina is totally destroyed.
Tonight my friend is grilling out and we're doing a party, with a bonfire with some of my dead tree. I think we need some sort of normalcy. Another friend called and she's clinging to sanity with both hands, as the generator her brother brought down is broken. She still has no power. I can't believe how lucky we are to have power.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Friday, October 28, 2005
FOOD!!!
I heard a rumor the Publix in Boca HAS POWER AND HAS FRESH MILK, LUNCH MEAT AND OTHER GREAT FRIDGERATED STUFF!
And a good wine supply!
My friend and I are headed there tomorrow a.m. Carpooling to save gas. DH spent two hours in a gas line only to have them never power up the station because the yahoos screwed up the generator. Oy.
Tomorrow night my friend is taking our downed tree as firewood, we're roasting marshmellows, toasting each other with wine and doing a "Let's get back to normal" party at her house.
I'm ready. boy, am I ready! And the idea of fresh food has me so damn excited... how weird is that? Today I was ready to grab a free Salvation army meal. I never take charity.
Now I know what it's like to be on the other end...
For dinner, I had canned cheese and crackers again, and I was lucky enough to find some ham frozen since last Thanksgiving. My friend and I had a feast! Dh ate the last of the frozen food I had bought before the hurricane.
Tomorrow is more canned barfaroni, unless I can find some fresh meat. Turkey slices would be GREAT!!! I have gravy, frozen bread, can make HOT turkey sandwiches!!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I'd be so excited to see a grocery store have fresh food.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
And a good wine supply!
My friend and I are headed there tomorrow a.m. Carpooling to save gas. DH spent two hours in a gas line only to have them never power up the station because the yahoos screwed up the generator. Oy.
Tomorrow night my friend is taking our downed tree as firewood, we're roasting marshmellows, toasting each other with wine and doing a "Let's get back to normal" party at her house.
I'm ready. boy, am I ready! And the idea of fresh food has me so damn excited... how weird is that? Today I was ready to grab a free Salvation army meal. I never take charity.
Now I know what it's like to be on the other end...
For dinner, I had canned cheese and crackers again, and I was lucky enough to find some ham frozen since last Thanksgiving. My friend and I had a feast! Dh ate the last of the frozen food I had bought before the hurricane.
Tomorrow is more canned barfaroni, unless I can find some fresh meat. Turkey slices would be GREAT!!! I have gravy, frozen bread, can make HOT turkey sandwiches!!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I'd be so excited to see a grocery store have fresh food.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
120 mph winds
This is the side yard and smashed fence, broken electrical meter and the shutter the wind tore off the window. We had winds of 120 mph.
This is tiger and tia hiding out in friend's house for the second half of Wilma. My friends came down during the eye and rescued me. Poor dogs were so stressed and confused.
This is the back yard I can barely get into because of the tree that fell on the hot tub. The garden railroad layout is half wrecked. The pine tree my FIL planted with the seeds from our wedding is half gone, but I think I can save it.
my front yard
I have power!
Thank you God! And the tree guys came to cut down the tree from the house. Oh, my poor house, everything is a mess... can't write about it now,here's some photos. I have insomnia, again.
this is teh back yard, the tree that fell on the house is to the right, the tree that fell on the hot tub and yard to the left.
This is what's left of my Florida room, the room that had a big leak after Hurricane Frances that we fixed. It's really leaking now, lol. You can kinda squeeze through the back door. My poor dogs are so confused. we have no yard now for them. No fence, either. I still can't get through to my insurance company. I think they took their phone off the hook.
Monday, October 24, 2005
it's over
FIL is okay, dh is finally home... friend's house is okay, part of roof is gone.
We have no power. Water is shut off, the tree in the front took out the line.
But this is our house, the back... i can't stop crying... and we can't get the tree off probably for a week. i don't know if it is safe to stay here.
everything is wrecked. the tree my FIL planted on our anniversary is down as well.
And the roof LIFTED OFF of my building at work, there is two inches of water in my work area. Everything is destroyed.
So I don't know if I have a job, either.
Someday, I can look back on this and laugh. Not today. I'm too busy crying. But at least we are all safe. Even the bird.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Evacuated the house
Friends came and got me during the eye. the roof was still holding when i left, doggies are with me, had to leave poor parrot behind.
dear god, when is this over? all the windows on the courthouse downtown are blown out. trees down all over my neighborhood. now we're getting the back end.
barometer was down to 29.1 when i left.
i hope my car and house and bird will be okay.
dear god, when is this over? all the windows on the courthouse downtown are blown out. trees down all over my neighborhood. now we're getting the back end.
barometer was down to 29.1 when i left.
i hope my car and house and bird will be okay.
i'm so scared
tree fell on our house, water starting to stain the celing, wind is blowing it INTO the house. the other tree fell on the hot tub.
i'm in my "softa safe" room in the master bedroom, shuttered, hiding on the bedroom floor.
please god, let this be over soon. i'm so scared. still can't get hold of FIL.
i'm in my "softa safe" room in the master bedroom, shuttered, hiding on the bedroom floor.
please god, let this be over soon. i'm so scared. still can't get hold of FIL.
a tree just fell on our house
i'm so scared...
i hope it hit the florida room roof and not our roof... i looked out and it's leaning against the house. it's one of the big trees in the back. oh god.
it's so bad here. winds have to be at 102 mph.
i'm hiding in the back bedroom. i'm alone with the dogs. i started crying. called DH at the hospital. poor dh, he's trying to comfort me and there is not a damn thing he can do about it.
i tried to pull it together for his sake.
then i told him i want to move. i do. i hate this, oh god, there goes another limb!!!!
when will this be over????
i hope it hit the florida room roof and not our roof... i looked out and it's leaning against the house. it's one of the big trees in the back. oh god.
it's so bad here. winds have to be at 102 mph.
i'm hiding in the back bedroom. i'm alone with the dogs. i started crying. called DH at the hospital. poor dh, he's trying to comfort me and there is not a damn thing he can do about it.
i tried to pull it together for his sake.
then i told him i want to move. i do. i hate this, oh god, there goes another limb!!!!
when will this be over????
7:44 a.m. tree branches falling on roof, winds whipping
And it's only supposed to get worse, according to Brian Norcross.
I took a shower by candlelight. Figured I might as well be clean if the house falls apart around me, lol. Went into the living room, looked out on the patio and the winds are whipping so hard that the air seems to be compressing. Then went into the kitchen and WHUMP!
big tree branch falls on the roof. I can see it blocking the kitchen window. Oh dear.
I'm not scared. Nope. Not me. LOL!
I wish I had coaxed FIL to come here to stay... just to keep an eye on him. DH just called. He sounded worried. he said he tried calling his dad, but phone kept ringing. I assured him he is okay.
I hope.
The worst weather is supposed to be here in about an hour. Wonderful. The barometer is now 29.3, lowest I've ever seen it.
The irony is we are supposed to get 56 degrees tomorrow night. Hurricane, followed by winter.
Just listening to Brian Norcross on the radio... some poor lady in Davie called in, scared and hiding beneath her "formal dining room table." She lives in a mobile home and didn't evacuate. He told her to stay there.
Oh crap. I just heard another tree branch. Damn!
I think it's time to start drinking now. Like Jimmy Buffett said, it's five oclock somewhere.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I took a shower by candlelight. Figured I might as well be clean if the house falls apart around me, lol. Went into the living room, looked out on the patio and the winds are whipping so hard that the air seems to be compressing. Then went into the kitchen and WHUMP!
big tree branch falls on the roof. I can see it blocking the kitchen window. Oh dear.
I'm not scared. Nope. Not me. LOL!
I wish I had coaxed FIL to come here to stay... just to keep an eye on him. DH just called. He sounded worried. he said he tried calling his dad, but phone kept ringing. I assured him he is okay.
I hope.
The worst weather is supposed to be here in about an hour. Wonderful. The barometer is now 29.3, lowest I've ever seen it.
The irony is we are supposed to get 56 degrees tomorrow night. Hurricane, followed by winter.
Just listening to Brian Norcross on the radio... some poor lady in Davie called in, scared and hiding beneath her "formal dining room table." She lives in a mobile home and didn't evacuate. He told her to stay there.
Oh crap. I just heard another tree branch. Damn!
I think it's time to start drinking now. Like Jimmy Buffett said, it's five oclock somewhere.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
6:45 a.m. power out
and here I thought I'd have power for a few hours longer. HA! It went out at 6 a.m. I think FPL shut it off. They do that, DH informed me, transformers start popping.
Winds have increased. Rain started. Barometer still falling. Now 29.5.
Yesterday it was 30.1.
The lowest in the past two years I've seen it was with Hurricane Frances last year. It went down to 29.3. I think it will drop lower than that.
Tia and Tiger, the doggies, are now with me in the living room. They're spooked.
And I have to award Dr. Steve Lyons of the Weather Channel my personal "Gee thanks" award. Just before the power went off, I heard him talk about the high winds we're going to get here and he said there will be bad damage, trees down. He advised, "If you're in a house with trees outside, get into a room where the trees won't fall on the house."
Ha ha ha! We have two very large trees in the back. THREE very large ones in the front.
There is, really, no place in the house I can go and feel safe.
I hope DH is holding out okay and the hospital still has power. He's the electrician, so his job is pretty important in the storm for the back up generators. During Frances, he had to go OUTSIDE at the height of the storm to hook up the spare generator.
I hate hurricanes. Did I mention that already?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Winds have increased. Rain started. Barometer still falling. Now 29.5.
Yesterday it was 30.1.
The lowest in the past two years I've seen it was with Hurricane Frances last year. It went down to 29.3. I think it will drop lower than that.
Tia and Tiger, the doggies, are now with me in the living room. They're spooked.
And I have to award Dr. Steve Lyons of the Weather Channel my personal "Gee thanks" award. Just before the power went off, I heard him talk about the high winds we're going to get here and he said there will be bad damage, trees down. He advised, "If you're in a house with trees outside, get into a room where the trees won't fall on the house."
Ha ha ha! We have two very large trees in the back. THREE very large ones in the front.
There is, really, no place in the house I can go and feel safe.
I hope DH is holding out okay and the hospital still has power. He's the electrician, so his job is pretty important in the storm for the back up generators. During Frances, he had to go OUTSIDE at the height of the storm to hook up the spare generator.
I hate hurricanes. Did I mention that already?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
5:19 a.m. Wilma now 125 mph, dog snores
Wilma has GAINED strength and is now 125 mph. Forecaster Ed, the geeky guy with glasses from the National Hurricane Center, says all of South Florida should expect Cat. 2 winds in the next six hours.
Wonderful.
Barometer continues to fall. Now 29.7. Winds are picking up as we are now getting Wilma's very outer edges. Tia the dog is snoring on her pillow in the bedroom.
I got two more hours sleep. Yay! Maybe I can try for two more?
I am tense, and getting a bit scared. Riding out a hurricane alone is not fun, but this one is going to be bad. I've never been through a storm with winds this high.
I think I'll lose power in about another two hours. If I'm lucky, not before then.
Hopefully, power is all I'll lose.
I wish Cindy and her husband had left the Keys.
I wish my friends in West Palm had left their house near the water.
I wish a lot of things right now.
Like being in New Mexico, scrubbing toilets.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Wonderful.
Barometer continues to fall. Now 29.7. Winds are picking up as we are now getting Wilma's very outer edges. Tia the dog is snoring on her pillow in the bedroom.
I got two more hours sleep. Yay! Maybe I can try for two more?
I am tense, and getting a bit scared. Riding out a hurricane alone is not fun, but this one is going to be bad. I've never been through a storm with winds this high.
I think I'll lose power in about another two hours. If I'm lucky, not before then.
Hopefully, power is all I'll lose.
I wish Cindy and her husband had left the Keys.
I wish my friends in West Palm had left their house near the water.
I wish a lot of things right now.
Like being in New Mexico, scrubbing toilets.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
2:30 a.m. QVC sheets, wind gusts
Dh just left for work. He's supposed to drive 40 minutes south to the hospital, where he will be all day. Hurricane Wilma is now a cat. 3 as I had thought, with winds of 115 mph. It's heading for Naples and the worst side will be slamming into my area about 9 a.m. or so. The winds are very breezy right now. Almost delightful. The kind of wind you like sipping margueritas on a lounge chair in the Keys.
I let the dogs outside just now, their fur ruffling in the increasing breeze. Barometer continues to drop, joy to the world. We're supposed to (in the eyes of the grim forecaster at Channel 7) get hurricane force SUSTAINED winds and gusts over 100 mph over here in Broward.
Wonderful!
I need to sleep, but I can't. I need to quit watching television. I'm sick of watching the weather forecasters predict doom and gloom. There's nothing more I can do to protect myself, just pray the trees in the front and the back hold out and don't crash. Or large branches fall down. We've never had a "real" hurricane here with sustained winds.
so instead of watching the weather, I'm watching QVC. They're having a special on very pretty patterned sheets. I wonder if it would be too weird to call them up, order some. "Hello QVC? I'm calling from a hurricane. But I had to have those sheets. Even if my house falls apart around me, hey, at least my bed will be pretty."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I let the dogs outside just now, their fur ruffling in the increasing breeze. Barometer continues to drop, joy to the world. We're supposed to (in the eyes of the grim forecaster at Channel 7) get hurricane force SUSTAINED winds and gusts over 100 mph over here in Broward.
Wonderful!
I need to sleep, but I can't. I need to quit watching television. I'm sick of watching the weather forecasters predict doom and gloom. There's nothing more I can do to protect myself, just pray the trees in the front and the back hold out and don't crash. Or large branches fall down. We've never had a "real" hurricane here with sustained winds.
so instead of watching the weather, I'm watching QVC. They're having a special on very pretty patterned sheets. I wonder if it would be too weird to call them up, order some. "Hello QVC? I'm calling from a hurricane. But I had to have those sheets. Even if my house falls apart around me, hey, at least my bed will be pretty."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Category 3?
Wilma is just now one mile short of a Cat. three.
wonderful.
I don't think I have enough liquor in the bar for a cat. 3.
I hope Cindy Cruciger and Dave and assorted pets will be okay. They didn't evacuate the Keys.
I hope the trees don't fall on our house.
I hope I have enough insurance to cover the damages.
Last one is a joke. Maybe I can sell myself on ebay instead of a roof shingle to cover the damages?
For sale:
Weary Floridian/romance author tired of hurricanes. Will clean toilets in New Mexico in exchange for never having to endure another 8 days of constantly watching The Weather Channel and wishing Jim Cantore would just leave.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
wonderful.
I don't think I have enough liquor in the bar for a cat. 3.
I hope Cindy Cruciger and Dave and assorted pets will be okay. They didn't evacuate the Keys.
I hope the trees don't fall on our house.
I hope I have enough insurance to cover the damages.
Last one is a joke. Maybe I can sell myself on ebay instead of a roof shingle to cover the damages?
For sale:
Weary Floridian/romance author tired of hurricanes. Will clean toilets in New Mexico in exchange for never having to endure another 8 days of constantly watching The Weather Channel and wishing Jim Cantore would just leave.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Barometer dropping & spooked dogs
Hurricane warning. Wilma will be here by morning. the barometer I have that I set out on the kitchen counter for all hurricanes (six of them since last year) is dropping. Was 30.1 this a.m. Now it's 29.8. Not good. Tried to take dogs out for a walk, they would not go. They're spooked.
Finally we got Tia out on the leash and looked up at the clouds approaching. very eerie.. wind from the southwest, clouds circling in that direction. Yup, hurricane coming.
I'm trying not to get depressed or anxious, but it's tough. DH has to work. They are sending him in at 3 a.m. Hopefully the rough weather will not be here by then. So again, I'm riding out another hurricane alone.
I'm trying to teach the nasty-mouthed parrot, who is now in the living room instead of the patio (see birdie fly in hurricane. fly birdie, fly!) to say, "Wilma, go away." he just stares at me and mutters, "Duh."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Finally we got Tia out on the leash and looked up at the clouds approaching. very eerie.. wind from the southwest, clouds circling in that direction. Yup, hurricane coming.
I'm trying not to get depressed or anxious, but it's tough. DH has to work. They are sending him in at 3 a.m. Hopefully the rough weather will not be here by then. So again, I'm riding out another hurricane alone.
I'm trying to teach the nasty-mouthed parrot, who is now in the living room instead of the patio (see birdie fly in hurricane. fly birdie, fly!) to say, "Wilma, go away." he just stares at me and mutters, "Duh."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Hurricane watch & Tropical Storm Alpha
WTF?
Alpha is out there, due to hit Haiti in the next couple of days. The first Greek-named hurricane. I hope he's a wussy Alpha male who's really a Beta. Haiti always has mudslides in ANY tropical storm.
In the meantime, down here in not-so-sunny Florida, my area is under a hurricane watch. Wonderful. Wilma is supposed to hit the west coast tomorrow night/Monday a.m. and we're supposed to get winds just as high, a cat. 2, maybe, on the east coast. The house is shuttered, so is the condo, and I have provisions.
Already we had five inches of rain last night. Some areas down here got flooded.
Is it over yet? Do you know how bizarre it is to shutter up and prepare for a hurricane when down the street, the neighbors have dancing pumpkins on their lawn?
Sheesh...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Alpha is out there, due to hit Haiti in the next couple of days. The first Greek-named hurricane. I hope he's a wussy Alpha male who's really a Beta. Haiti always has mudslides in ANY tropical storm.
In the meantime, down here in not-so-sunny Florida, my area is under a hurricane watch. Wonderful. Wilma is supposed to hit the west coast tomorrow night/Monday a.m. and we're supposed to get winds just as high, a cat. 2, maybe, on the east coast. The house is shuttered, so is the condo, and I have provisions.
Already we had five inches of rain last night. Some areas down here got flooded.
Is it over yet? Do you know how bizarre it is to shutter up and prepare for a hurricane when down the street, the neighbors have dancing pumpkins on their lawn?
Sheesh...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Friday, October 21, 2005
WILMA, Eh bien, continuons!
The line in French from Waiting for Godot means, "Well, let's get on with it!"
Waiting for Wilma. She's battering Mexico. Flirting with Florida, batting her outer bands at us, sultry wench she is, teasing us, promsing, I'll be there FRIDAY. Then, SATURDAY. Then, SUNDAY. Now, MONDAY.
Possibly TUESDAY. Foul wench!
Do I put up the shutters? Or not. Do I take my last hot shower now? Or no? Do I slowly sink into the hurricane chasm of panic, fear and chaos? Or do I just have another beer and watch the Dolphins game?
In the meantime, here's a pix of
me in Silverton, CO where Blair has a street named after her. That Blair Valentine, she WILL NOT leave me alone! Now she wants to write a werewolf story. It's halfway done. She's threatening to lock me up until she finishes. I can't write. I'm too stressed about Wilma and DH's surgery next week. Our lives are suspended in a whirling mass of wind, rain and destruction that may arrive. Or may not.
Eh bien, continuons, already!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Waiting for Wilma. She's battering Mexico. Flirting with Florida, batting her outer bands at us, sultry wench she is, teasing us, promsing, I'll be there FRIDAY. Then, SATURDAY. Then, SUNDAY. Now, MONDAY.
Possibly TUESDAY. Foul wench!
Do I put up the shutters? Or not. Do I take my last hot shower now? Or no? Do I slowly sink into the hurricane chasm of panic, fear and chaos? Or do I just have another beer and watch the Dolphins game?
In the meantime, here's a pix of
me in Silverton, CO where Blair has a street named after her. That Blair Valentine, she WILL NOT leave me alone! Now she wants to write a werewolf story. It's halfway done. She's threatening to lock me up until she finishes. I can't write. I'm too stressed about Wilma and DH's surgery next week. Our lives are suspended in a whirling mass of wind, rain and destruction that may arrive. Or may not. Eh bien, continuons, already!
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Good news, bad news
The good news first...
I sold two more Egyptian books to Dorchester. Yay! The Panther & the Pyramid is Rashid's story from COBRA, and no release date yet. The other is the love story between Jabari's son and Ramses' daughter. It's set in 1919 Egypt. Still have to write it, it's going to be fun.
The other good news is Blair's erotic vamp story, Surrender the Night, is coming out in print from Ellora's Cave as part of a vampire anthology.
The other good news is The Falcon & the Dove, my first book, will be published in Spanish next year. Bueno!
Now for the bad news...
Hurricane Wilma looks like it may hit us this Saturday. DH, who is having surgery next week, will be working. It's the same routine, get gas for the generators, stock up on food, etc. etc.
The other good news?
I just saved a crapload of money on my hurricane insurance by switching to Geico.
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! YEAH RIGHT!! No one will insure my house but Larry, Daryl and Daryl's Good Ole Boy Insurance Company.
So that's my news for now. Must go watch The Weather Channel... if only I had stock in that channel, I'd be rich.
And living in New Mexico...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
More creative spam
This week's award goes to the yahoo who emailed me one called "New Tricks for Your Penis."
When I stopped laughing, I thought about it. This is actually pretty cool. I don't have a penis, so I don't know if this is possible. Might ask the DH. Can you teach a penis tricks like you can teach Fido?
I visualize a Penis Instruction School, or even Obedience School. "Here boy! Stay! Stay! Good boy!"
Or, "Sit! Sit!" Can come in handy when said penis begins acting up at difficult moments, like, at a highbrow business function when the owner stares at a buxom beauty and penis reacts like an overeager dog.
How about, "Play dead!"
And then you can have the "Attack Penis." Teach your penis to guard your person. Tell it, "Sic boy! Sic now!"
Hmmmm, THAT could be very interesting...
Men sometimes complain they have no control over their penises (peni?) I think Penis Obedience School is just the answer. Put it on a leash, reward it for good behavior and teach it new tricks.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
When I stopped laughing, I thought about it. This is actually pretty cool. I don't have a penis, so I don't know if this is possible. Might ask the DH. Can you teach a penis tricks like you can teach Fido?
I visualize a Penis Instruction School, or even Obedience School. "Here boy! Stay! Stay! Good boy!"
Or, "Sit! Sit!" Can come in handy when said penis begins acting up at difficult moments, like, at a highbrow business function when the owner stares at a buxom beauty and penis reacts like an overeager dog.
How about, "Play dead!"
And then you can have the "Attack Penis." Teach your penis to guard your person. Tell it, "Sic boy! Sic now!"
Hmmmm, THAT could be very interesting...
Men sometimes complain they have no control over their penises (peni?) I think Penis Obedience School is just the answer. Put it on a leash, reward it for good behavior and teach it new tricks.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Sigh...
I miss this already... And now I hear Wilma is on the horizon out in the Caribbean... why is it every time we return from a trip, there's a storm out there?
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Where are we?
I think we're still in New Mexico. The other night we spent in Chama, swinging on the porch swing of our B&B and staring at the moonrise like the old married couple we are. Ten years! And we're still together...
Yesterday we spent in Santa Fe, at the Inn at Santa Fe. We sat at the bar, toasting our anniversary (yesterday) and the bartender told us stories of the celebrities who sat in OUR very same seats when they came to town to film. Like Billy Bob Thorton and Adam Sandler. He said Billy Bob is very quiet and very nice. They film lots of movies in New Mexico that are set in Texas. Don't ask me why. I have no idea.
I love it out here, cold and all. Still, the snow is pretty on the mountains but not so nice when you have to shovel and drive through it. As much as I'd like to see it for Christmas again like I did when growing up, I'll take warm sand, Florida surf and the yule log on television instead.
Yesterday we spent in Santa Fe, at the Inn at Santa Fe. We sat at the bar, toasting our anniversary (yesterday) and the bartender told us stories of the celebrities who sat in OUR very same seats when they came to town to film. Like Billy Bob Thorton and Adam Sandler. He said Billy Bob is very quiet and very nice. They film lots of movies in New Mexico that are set in Texas. Don't ask me why. I have no idea.
I love it out here, cold and all. Still, the snow is pretty on the mountains but not so nice when you have to shovel and drive through it. As much as I'd like to see it for Christmas again like I did when growing up, I'll take warm sand, Florida surf and the yule log on television instead.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
A lonely cemetery, rugged mountains
Space. Emptiness. After congested South Florida,
driving through the jagged mountains of Colorado is an experience. Snow tops the peaks, sprinkled like powdered sugar. The cold bites into your skin with needle fangs. Back home it's 87 degrees. Back home there's no green space.There's a majestic, but haunting loneliness to the mountains. We drove north to Silverton, ambling about the town, shopping, taking in history. I forgot to get the name of the nice lady at the Grand Imperial, who was a housekeeper there for 30 years. She told tales of hauntings, a baby crying in the basement, the tin ceiling that was the original when the hotel was built in 1882. Upstairs we roamed the hallway, peering into suites where men once housed their mistresses, peeking around the corners for glimpses of haunting spirits.
We drove further north to Howardsville, a ghost town. Peppering the mountain slopes about silverton are the corpses of old mines, abandoned now. We stopped on the way back at the Hillside Cemetery, reading the gravestones, shivering in the bitter wind sweeping down the mountain. Or was it the stark, melancholy feeling of the graves, where the silent mountains stand guard over their eternal rest?
Rich in history, tall tales and snow drifts so deep (400 inches a year) that all business shuts down in winter, and business owners board up their windows to prevent snow from breaking the glass, Silverton is a modern day ghost town. Only 300 hardy souls remain here through winter. And just north of the town, outside its limits, on a lonely mountainside slope, is a cemetery where the dead sleep, silently watched over by the rugged mountains.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Color!
This is what we saw yesterday on the train ride from Durango to Silverton.
Color, everywhere. Talk about timing... the aspens are bursting with gold. Everywhere. Even with the overcast skies, they glow with a golden cast like the metal found hidden in the mountains.
It snowed in Silverton. We froze. Riding an orange train to a town founded on silver. Riding back, we braved the open air gondola car. It was about 41 degrees, 31 in some passes. Yes, we have Floridian blood. But who can pass up the chance to freeze your buns off when back home it's 87 degrees and still hurricane season?
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Monday, October 10, 2005
Snow and bunny suicides
It's supposed to snow today in Silverton. It's 25 degrees. Are we crazy? Yup.
Yesterday did some shopping. The bunny suicide book was prominently displayed in one bookstore. If you haven't seen this book, you must just pick it up. It contains all these stupid ways for rabbits to kill themselves. And it's selling like mad. I said to the clerk, "Oh look! The bunny suicide book."
She looks at me with this mournful, serious expression like Wednesday on The Adams Family. "I know. If bunnies kill themselves, what hope is there for the rest of us?"
I think, "OMG, what a head case." But I grin and say, "But think of how tasty rabbit stew is!"
She shoots me this look colder than the snow we'll see today in silverton and snips, "I wouldn't know. I haven't eaten meat in seven years."
I'm thinking, "Yeah lady, I bet you haven't had sex in seven years too." I look at her and say, "In Haiti, we raise rabbits to feed the poor. Of course after, they're still poor but at least they're fed."
She says nothing, quickly wraps my purchase and hands it to me in silence. I leave, telling my husband that some people really need to get a life. Fretting over a silly bunny suicide book that's a best seller?
I love traveling and meeting new people, even ones like her. It's good to get out of the craziness of South Florida and meet crazy people elsewhere. I must say people out here in general are quite nice, friendly and helpful. We met an employee of the Durango Silverton line who spent fifteen minutes talking trains with us. His eyes sparkled as he and my husband chatted about boilers, steam pressure, etc. I just wanted to know if they ran wood or coal burners back in 1882 for a western I'm writing.
So today is snow... and we're going to freeze our buns off. Maybe we'll see wildlife along the train ride. Maybe even rabbits. As long as they don't throw themselves in front of the train, trying to mimic the bunny suicide book...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Yesterday did some shopping. The bunny suicide book was prominently displayed in one bookstore. If you haven't seen this book, you must just pick it up. It contains all these stupid ways for rabbits to kill themselves. And it's selling like mad. I said to the clerk, "Oh look! The bunny suicide book."
She looks at me with this mournful, serious expression like Wednesday on The Adams Family. "I know. If bunnies kill themselves, what hope is there for the rest of us?"
I think, "OMG, what a head case." But I grin and say, "But think of how tasty rabbit stew is!"
She shoots me this look colder than the snow we'll see today in silverton and snips, "I wouldn't know. I haven't eaten meat in seven years."
I'm thinking, "Yeah lady, I bet you haven't had sex in seven years too." I look at her and say, "In Haiti, we raise rabbits to feed the poor. Of course after, they're still poor but at least they're fed."
She says nothing, quickly wraps my purchase and hands it to me in silence. I leave, telling my husband that some people really need to get a life. Fretting over a silly bunny suicide book that's a best seller?
I love traveling and meeting new people, even ones like her. It's good to get out of the craziness of South Florida and meet crazy people elsewhere. I must say people out here in general are quite nice, friendly and helpful. We met an employee of the Durango Silverton line who spent fifteen minutes talking trains with us. His eyes sparkled as he and my husband chatted about boilers, steam pressure, etc. I just wanted to know if they ran wood or coal burners back in 1882 for a western I'm writing.
So today is snow... and we're going to freeze our buns off. Maybe we'll see wildlife along the train ride. Maybe even rabbits. As long as they don't throw themselves in front of the train, trying to mimic the bunny suicide book...
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Buh-bye
Leaving for vacation tomorrow. Blair is still locked up, staying that way. While I'm gone, I expect everyone to catch up on their reading. Reading is fun-da-mental.
I may have good news to report upon my return. Can't share now, very hush hush. ;-)
http://www.bonnievanak.com
the magical magnetic dildo
Creative spam email of the week award goes to the soul who emailed me with an offer of a magnetic dildo.
I had to open this. It read, "I shall remember the loss of my tail, and it is necessary for him to interact with machines."
It inspired me to think of a new erotic romance featuring a C-3 PO type of female android who longs for love. She has a long, metal-cast frame with a protruding bosom like the prow of a clipper ship, slender titanium legs and blinking yellow eyes. Let's call her Jugs. Lonely for a real hunk of steel, Jugs can only dream as she watches re-runs of THE WIZARD OF OZ and lusts for the Tin Man. He's not platinum, but will do for her erotic fantasties in which he tenderly caresses her alloy and gives her the best lube job of her life.
Jugs reaches into the tool chest by her bedside and pulls out the new battery-operated toy she got in the mail. The ad promised, MAGICAL MAGNETIC DILDO FOR THOSE SPECIAL BONDING MOMENTS. Jugs flips on the switch and as her eyes feast on the bulging edges of the Tin Man's hard silver frame, the MAGICAL MAGNETIC DILDO drifts between her parted steel thighs...
CLINK!
Jugs blinks and says aloud, "Oh s**t."
It's stuck. She'd bonded all right. For good. Forget dialing 9-11. Call Triple A and ask them to bring a crowbar.
Magnetic dildos. Dangerous beasts, these.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
I had to open this. It read, "I shall remember the loss of my tail, and it is necessary for him to interact with machines."
It inspired me to think of a new erotic romance featuring a C-3 PO type of female android who longs for love. She has a long, metal-cast frame with a protruding bosom like the prow of a clipper ship, slender titanium legs and blinking yellow eyes. Let's call her Jugs. Lonely for a real hunk of steel, Jugs can only dream as she watches re-runs of THE WIZARD OF OZ and lusts for the Tin Man. He's not platinum, but will do for her erotic fantasties in which he tenderly caresses her alloy and gives her the best lube job of her life.
Jugs reaches into the tool chest by her bedside and pulls out the new battery-operated toy she got in the mail. The ad promised, MAGICAL MAGNETIC DILDO FOR THOSE SPECIAL BONDING MOMENTS. Jugs flips on the switch and as her eyes feast on the bulging edges of the Tin Man's hard silver frame, the MAGICAL MAGNETIC DILDO drifts between her parted steel thighs...
CLINK!
Jugs blinks and says aloud, "Oh s**t."
It's stuck. She'd bonded all right. For good. Forget dialing 9-11. Call Triple A and ask them to bring a crowbar.
Magnetic dildos. Dangerous beasts, these.
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Keep that Longwang away from me
From Wikipedia on Super Typhoon Longwang:
“Despite its violence, Longwang only caused material damage in Taiwan, and claimed only one life.”
If I saw a big Longwang heading in my direction, I’d faint. How does a woman protect herself against a giant Longwang? Does insurance cover it?
Me: Hello State Farm? I live in Taiwan and there's a dangerous Longwang heading right for me. It's huge. I've never seen anything like this before and I don't know if I can handle it. What do I do to protect myself?
State Farm Agent: Click!
“Despite its violence, Longwang only caused material damage in Taiwan, and claimed only one life.”
If I saw a big Longwang heading in my direction, I’d faint. How does a woman protect herself against a giant Longwang? Does insurance cover it?
Me: Hello State Farm? I live in Taiwan and there's a dangerous Longwang heading right for me. It's huge. I've never seen anything like this before and I don't know if I can handle it. What do I do to protect myself?
State Farm Agent: Click!
Monday, October 03, 2005
I locked Blair up
Yesterday I was doing housework and she tried beating me back into the closet with the mop I used to clean the floor. She insisted on writing. I had a house to clean, a hubby to take care of, dinner for cook for us and my father-in-law.
Blair is admirable for her single-minded devotion to writing. But sometimes she scares me. All she thinks about is writing. She has NO life. She's like a robot in her function. All she knows is push the button, power up the laptop and form words on the keyboard.
If she were a TV show, I'd call her "Desperate Writers." Kind of like Desperate Housewives, only without the sex or fun stuff. Or Bree's nasty, caterwauling mother-in-law. (How DID Rex survive his childhood?)
I'm Bonnie Vanak. I'm an author, a writer but that is not what solely defines me as a person. There is so much more. Blair Valentine is now locked up in the closet. I shooed her in there with the mop, gave her the laptop and wished her luck.
The last thing I heard was a pitiful sigh, followed by these ominous words...
"I'll be back..."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
Blair is admirable for her single-minded devotion to writing. But sometimes she scares me. All she thinks about is writing. She has NO life. She's like a robot in her function. All she knows is push the button, power up the laptop and form words on the keyboard.
If she were a TV show, I'd call her "Desperate Writers." Kind of like Desperate Housewives, only without the sex or fun stuff. Or Bree's nasty, caterwauling mother-in-law. (How DID Rex survive his childhood?)
I'm Bonnie Vanak. I'm an author, a writer but that is not what solely defines me as a person. There is so much more. Blair Valentine is now locked up in the closet. I shooed her in there with the mop, gave her the laptop and wished her luck.
The last thing I heard was a pitiful sigh, followed by these ominous words...
"I'll be back..."
http://www.bonnievanak.com
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