Thursday, October 06, 2005

the magical magnetic dildo

Creative spam email of the week award goes to the soul who emailed me with an offer of a magnetic dildo.

I had to open this. It read, "I shall remember the loss of my tail, and it is necessary for him to interact with machines."

It inspired me to think of a new erotic romance featuring a C-3 PO type of female android who longs for love. She has a long, metal-cast frame with a protruding bosom like the prow of a clipper ship, slender titanium legs and blinking yellow eyes. Let's call her Jugs. Lonely for a real hunk of steel, Jugs can only dream as she watches re-runs of THE WIZARD OF OZ and lusts for the Tin Man. He's not platinum, but will do for her erotic fantasties in which he tenderly caresses her alloy and gives her the best lube job of her life.

Jugs reaches into the tool chest by her bedside and pulls out the new battery-operated toy she got in the mail. The ad promised, MAGICAL MAGNETIC DILDO FOR THOSE SPECIAL BONDING MOMENTS. Jugs flips on the switch and as her eyes feast on the bulging edges of the Tin Man's hard silver frame, the MAGICAL MAGNETIC DILDO drifts between her parted steel thighs...

CLINK!

Jugs blinks and says aloud, "Oh s**t."

It's stuck. She'd bonded all right. For good. Forget dialing 9-11. Call Triple A and ask them to bring a crowbar.

Magnetic dildos. Dangerous beasts, these.

http://www.bonnievanak.com

2 comments:

Mary Stella said...

I can now picture Jugs and the Tin Man massaging each other with 10w-30 out of his oiling can.

Bonnie Vanak said...

OMG, LMAO!!!

Hey Mary, maybe we should pair up and write this. LOL!

Bonnie