Sunday, October 30, 2005

Florida chainsaw massacre

Where was Leatherface when I needed him?

I would have made him a great trade. "Dude," I'd have said, "Loan us your killer chainsaw and cut down the tree that's on the hot tub and I'll give you my right leg."

My right leg is killing me now, anyway. Doesn't the bible say, "If your right leg offends thee, cut it off"?
Did Jesus ever chop down a 40-foot tree with a wimpy chainsaw that can barely cut butter?

We had no help today. The great-looking men with chainsaws Cindy Cruciger has spotted are NOT in my area. All our friends had mysteriously vanished. Dh had to get the tree, the "small" one off the hot tub.

He had a dinky chainsaw that was about as effective as a kindergartner's rounded scissors. But we had no choice. So we set at it. FIL was here, he picked up branches.

Dh sawed. I hauled.

We worked 9 hours on the one tree. Finally, we have a backyard. I think there's grass back there.

I took two muscle relaxers and I'm slowly killing a bottle of wine. I still have major back pain. I think I'll go for gas tomorrow. I just hope Dh doesn't file a missing person's report while I'm in a gas line. Work is open. They are squeezing us into a small space. They're called bathrooms. The new printer is a spool of toilet paper and a Sharpie.

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