RWA does it again… the latest stirrings are about the GH/RITA awards ceremony. By now many have heard about Nora and Jennifer Crusie's letters (two very classy ladies). I’m not offering a Wednesday morning quarterback commentary. All I can suggest is RWA totally change the ceremony next year.
My suggestion: Have half-naked muscled men in fire engine red thongs present the awards. Strip away ALL taste from the awards presentation. Imagine the scene… A totally clueless, tall he-man, muscles glistening beneath the spotlights, strides onto stage, flexing his biceps. He takes the RITA statuette and goes to hand it to the winner…
Mr. Pecs: “Here yah go, honeybuns. Uh, dunno what the hell this statue is for. What is a RITA anyway?”
Winner, grimacing. “Eeeew. My RITA is covered with… man sweat!”
Mr. Pecs: “That’s not man sweat, honeybuns. That’s Wesson. I always oil myself before coming onstage. I have Wessonality. Hey, wanna see what I can do?”
Winner, dumbfounded, watching Mr. Pecs flex one man titty and then the other. “OMG. That’s, that’s…”
Mr. Pecs, grinning: “Betcha you can’t do that with your boobs, honeybuns. See what a round of steroids and some quality gym time can do?”
Winner, frowning: “Steroids? Well if you’re on steroids, then that bulge must be…”
She dives for his thong in a sudden move, reaches in and pulls out… dozens of missing ballots from the RWA presidential election.
Winner, sighing and tossing ballots in the air: “I knew it. “
Mr. Pecs, turning beet red, trying to catch ballots: “Gimme back my man-stuffing!”