Wednesday, August 17, 2005

And now we bring you... the penis

Today I'm thinking of why our culture is obsessed with men's equipment. Last night DH picked up his sinus meds, without looking at the label. When he got into the parking lot he glanced at it. The pharamacist had given him the wrong 'script. He gave him a script for a male enhancement pill.

Dh roared with laughter. He got his sinus pills after exchanging the 'script with the red-faced pharmacist, who apologized. I asked DH, "Hey, if that stuff works on equipment that needs to grow, and you have sinus trouble and take it, does it mean your nose will grow?

It reminded me of something I encountered in my travels. I already blogged about this, but I think it's worth a repeat "performance."

Last year I encountered the penis controversy in Jamaica. In downtown Kingston, near a hotel where we stay when we’re working in the field, there is a park called Emancipation Park. With a bronze sculpture of a naked man and woman. They are facing each other. They are about 11 feet tall. The man’s equipment is displayed to the world and it is rather large equipment indeed.

When I remarked on this to one of my co-workers, she laughed. The penis size stirred a huge controversy in Jamaica. People complained the man’s genitals were “too big.” The sculptor who created the statue says she did not purposely enlarge that particular part and noted how the man has muscles in his torso and butt and the female is also well-endowed.

Of course no one’s complained about the breast size. Just the penis.

The sculpture is supposed to represent freedom from slavery and thus the park’s name, Emancipation Park. One jocular newspaper columnist called it “The emancipated penis.” He noted that simply because European statues have small ones, doesn’t mean Jamaica has to. The Gleaner, the local paper had a column simply titled, “Jamaica Aroused.”

Ironically, there is ANOTHER sculpture of a nude couple, only they complained that man’s equipment was “too small.” If you’ve ever been to Jamaica and flown into Norman Manley airport, you’ll see it on the drive from the airport as the road hooks to the left on the way to Kingston.

Which brings to mind Goldilocks and the three bears. I could steal a line from Sex & the City and call her “Goldicocks,” but I won’t. Goldilocks and the three (what should I call it? Penis? Manhood? Purple warrior? How about Bronzed Male Part?) Bronzed Male Parts. One was too big. One was too small. Surely one could be “just right.” I think they should remove the big guy and replace it with the smaller guy.Then have the classic Bob Marley lyrics underscored beneath the man’s sculpture: “We're coming in from the cold.”

Shrinkage. Solves everything.

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