Them, overheard in dressing room:
HER: "Does this dress make me look fat? Oh, it DOES make me look fat!!! Oh MOM!!!!! I'll NEVER get back to a size FOUR!!!!! I knew having that baby would make me FAT!!!!!"
HER's mom: "Dahling, you look boootiful. That red is just GORGEOUS ON you! It's a designer six and it fits just right! It will look booootiful next to Don's tuxedo! And I'll loan you my fur wrap, you'll be a smash at the parhtee! You don't look fat!!!"
Me, to sales clerk as I'm holding a Chris Madden designer lamp next to my never-will-be-size 6 body: "Excuse me, but does this table lamp make me look fat?"
Sales clerk: "Um, er, no."
Me: "Good! I'll take it."