Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Seasons

It's nearly 10 p.m. and I'm feeling slightly melancholy. Maybe it's because another Halloween has passed, the holiday that so much reminds me of childhood. Maybe because it was Tia's last Halloween and the knowledge that she won't be with us this time next year hurts more than I admit. Or maybe it's just the herald of another year's end approaching, the seasons changing, and time marching on.

Some friends were going to come over, but they were grilling out and passing around the wine, and anyway, everyone here but me is asleep now. DH had major dental work done today and he's passed out, poor baby. Tiger got scared at the doorbell ringing; Tia got simply exhausted from running to the door to see who was ringing the doorbell and "should I bark? Is it a stranger? Someone i know and should lick their knees?"

We had about 60 kids this year, more than last when I sat on the driveway and passed out candy, warning them away from the massive tree blocking the sidewalk. this year DH and I went all out, decorated, I even bought a skeleton mask and ended up scaring some poor little toddlers who screamed, and ran back to their moms. One mom joked, "MOMMY, MOMMY, BACK TO THE WOMB! BACK TO THE WOMB!"

I took off the mask to assure them it was okay, showed them my face and told them , "See? This is my REAL mask. Scary, huh? Oh yeah."

Maybe it's because I usually get melancholy this time of year... because 11 years ago it was when mom was diagnosed with cancer, and began her journey toward dying. The holidays since then have been sprinkled with joy amid bitter sorrow, like sucking on a chocolate covered lemon. Bad analogy, but as time marches on, and I lose more people I love, I have to remember the sweetness among the bitter taste of watching those close to me pass on. Because of the memories, they're all that's left sometimes.

Anyway, tomorrow I'll post fun photos of today. But for now, it's just me and my slightly melancholy self, a half filled bowl of candy sitting by the door, the ghost decorations gone dark, and another Halloween left to memories.

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