Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Beat me up, God

Crying can be a good thing.

I'm still sick, but had to drag myself into work because the project I'm writing is due, like, NOW. Rush job. So I went to work and I'm writing it to raise money to buy food and feed starving little boys who cry because they are hungry.

As I'm writing, I feel my eyes burn with tears. And I read over what I wrote and I realize, if I can make myself cry, me the hard, cynic who's seen a lot, there's a good chance others will cry too. And give money to feed these poor kids.

Tough as it is to travel to Haiti, see the poorest of the poor, the hunger, despair, suffering and get my emotions in a wedgie, I realize how necessary it is. How can I make others, who have never been to Haiti, care if I don't care? I guess God wants to use me for his purposes. I guess this is a good thing, though I really do NOT like it at times, especially when I feel beaten up, worn, and emotionally drained. So beat me up, God. Use me. Grab my feelings and twist them in an emotional wedgie. If it means these kids will be fed, it's worth it.

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