DH bought a box of fortune cookies. I have a fortune cookie weakness. I love cracking the cookie open, reading what life has in store for me.
Last year one read, "You will suffer many hurricanes, a tree will fall on your house and your insurance company will make the Chinese water torture seem like a fun day in the ocean."
I threw that one out.
I have to add a phrase to fortune cookies that an acquaintance once told me. It changes everything to a sexual fortune cookie. "In bed."
"Great things will come to you." IN BED.
"Your wish will be granted to you next year." IN BED.
"Success comes with patience." IN BED.
"Faith will see you through anything." IN BED.
"Success means competition." IN BED.
"Your income will increase." IN BED.
"Good things come in small packages." IN BED. (I don't think so!!)
"You can always find happiness at work on Friday." IN BED.
"True friends remain friends forever." IN BED.
"Something you lost will turn up." IN BED.
"Your artistic talent will win the applause of others." IN BED.
Someone is speaking well of you." IN BED.
"Be prepared to accept a wonderous opportunity soon!" IN BED.
And finally, one I'm considering seriously to lure the roofers to put us first on the list for a new roof:
"The time is right to use your influence." IN BED.