Wednesday, June 28, 2006


In the very tight, shrinking historical romance market, we receive this glimmer of hope. All you need to secure a book contract without writing one single word, let alone a proposal, is “lots of love, sex, and battles.”

Course it helps to be the Duchess of York.

Sarah Ferguson, said duchess,
landed a $1.9 million book and movie deal for a book she hasn’t written yet. After authoring children’s books, she now ventures into this new territory. UPI reports that, “The book titled ‘Hart Moor’ is described by a friend as containing ‘lots of love, sex and battles.’”

Hart Moor?

Couldn’t she at least have come up with a title that grabbed you by the throat? Say, “Truth about the Royal Shaft, or, Andy’s got a gerkin?”

According to Ladies Home Journal, she gushed, "I've just signed a deal... to write a historical novel -- the next Gone With The Wind. I sold it without one chapter written! It's all in my head."

"Mommy, where do books come from?"
"They're all in your head, dear."

Someone else noted, “"People who underestimate her literary talents might be surprised when Hart Moor is finished. This book is going to be a huge success."

Note to self: Write lots of “love, sex and battles” for next historical. Oh wait. Been there, done that.

I need a royal title for my next book contract. Hmmm. Maybe… Bonnie Prunehomme, Duchess of Bling. String gold chains, maybe even a lucky rabbit’s foot, around my neck. Then write an historical with love, sex and battles.

I’ll call the book, “Love, sex & battles: The story of England’s royal family.”


Mary Stella said...

Andy's got a gerkin ROFLMAO!!!!

FerfeLaBat said...

Oy. The question is ... why would anyone buy it.