Pilgrims trekking for miles in Kashmir to worship a giant penis made of ice received news that it made have been artificially erected instead of naturally raised. One devotee claims the giant lingam, which is honored as a symbol of the god Shiva, is “made of soft snow and not ice.”
A giant, soft penis. Hmmm.
A Hindu cleric called for a judicial “probe” of the giant dong to see if it were indeed raised manually or is the product of mechanical erection. Say, by Viagra. But I thought cold causes shrinkage? Didn’t these guys ever see “Seinfeld?”
I can envision Elaine, George, Jerry and Kramer trudging to view the Big Lingam, arriving at the cave and critically analyzing it.
George: I can’t believe you dragged me here to worship a giant penis, Elaine.
Elaine: Not worship, George. Prove a fact. I told you the cold/shrinkage issue is just a myth. See? You were wrong. Does THIS look like shrinkage?
George: I was NOT wrong and this is an artificial penis so it doesn’t count! It was shrinkage, shrinkage!!!
Kramer, musing: I could sell replicas of this in Times Square. Like popsicles. Call it Kramer’s Giant Miracle Dongsicles.
Jerry: Kramer, no don’t chip off the …
Crash! Giant penis lies broken in tiny shards on cave floor.
George: See? I told you. Cold causes shrinkage, Elaine! Shrinkage!