Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Elderly drivers on oxygen

So I'm at the DMV today, renewing my license, waiting for two hours, thinking mournfully how how this Saturday is my birthday . Hello middle age, firmly set upon me, no leeching it away. And then I see this little wizened white-haired midget, I mean, there is no other way to describe her. I felt sorry for the lady, she was on oxygen, wheeling a green bottle behind her, hobbling along on a walker with big wheels, supported by her nurse.

Then she sits down to get her photo taken. For her driver's license.

The woman is wheezing and creeping along, practically being wheeled out of the office by her nurse. I guess the state of Florida says if you can breathe, (even if you're on oxygen.) you can drive.

Whoa boy. I get my license, keep my eyes peeled for elderly midgets on oxygen driving through the parking lot and speed back to work. And the order for my bookmarks for THE COBRA & THE CONCUBINE has arrived from the printer! Oh joy! At last! I need these for RT next week. I promised some bookstores I would send bookmarks. I tear open the carton and...

They're green. The printer added too much yellow tint. I'm staring at a green warrior guy sitting on a green horse.

I'm frantic. I show the bookmarks to the guys I work with and B says, "Well, it sets the mood. It looks kind of sinister. Moody."

I said, "It's a green horse."

B: "But people probably won't NOTICE it's a green horse."

I show the bookmarks to another guy I work with. He stares at it like the masses concentrated outside St. Peter's stared at the chimney, trying to see the holy smoke. And he says, "It looks, uh, kind of sinister."

I said, "The horse is green."

He said, "Yeah, I did see that. Green horse. But I don't think people will notice it."

I can only hope the printer has good news for me tomorrow. In the meantime, I have some 1,500 limited edition bookmarks of my May Egyptian release. Special today! A green horse with sickly looking green warrior guy.

About the same color I'll be if I ever run into that elderly driver on oxgyen on the road.

http://www.bonnievanak.com

1 comment:

Mary Stella said...

Um -- can you get away with calling it a horse of a different color? Crossing my fingers that the printer redoes the job in time for RT.

I hear what you say about some FL drivers. I drove to Ft. Myers last week. After cruising merrily across the Tamiami Trail, I hit Naples where people have three lanes to choose from and opt to drive 10 miles under the speed limit in all three! I called the friend I was meeting and asked, "What gives with the people in Naples? They're all driving like they're really old!" She pointed out that many of the people who live in Naples ARE old.

Good point. I plan to be a lead foot until I'm 80. See you at RT, Bonnie!