Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Sex with Oded Fehr...



To mark the first day of the 2011 hurricane season, I'm reposting a blog from 2005, the year my house got clobbered by Hurricane Wilma and a tree punched through our roof. This post still makes me laugh, and these days, while we are currently "weathering" a family crisis, all laughs are much appreciated. It's titled, "Sex with Oded Fehr."

Last night I dreamed I had sex with Oded Fehr. (See photo at right. He's begging me, "Please, Bonnie, have sex with me now!")

We were married and he came home from work in this funky red jacket, dark trousers, white starched shirt and red silk tie. He threw down his briefcase and said, “I can’t wait to make love to you, right now.”

Oh. Okay.

But trouble was, it was … meh. I couldn’t climax. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I was tense.

Then all the sudden, he shapeshifts. Changes before my eyes… and changes to…

Jim Cantore from The Weather Channel. Complete in his raingear, talking about hurricanes. I screamed, “noooooooo!”

It’s not a deep dream, I know what it means, See, Jim Cantore has the knack of picking areas to broadcast from that get slammed by hurricanes.
So what does all this, and my dream mean? Simple.

If Jim Cantore shows up anywhere near you, you’re f**ked.

4 comments:

Julie Sloane said...

OMG! Great dream with disturbing consequences. You are a funny, weird, wonderful writer. My favorite kind.

Bonnie Vanak said...

LOL!! Thanks Julie. I like being called weird and wonderful!

Jenine said...

OMG - I was laughing hysterically Bonnie!

Bonnie Vanak said...

Glad I made you laugh, Jenine! Let's hope Jim doesn't show up anywhere near S. Florida this year!