Thursday, December 07, 2006

Tia is gone


My beautiful baby...

I did everything I could for her, cooked, gave her meds, worried about her. Now she's at peace and not in pain anymore. I honestly think God had a hand in it b/c my DH was so very very against putting her down unless it was absolutely necessary because he had to put his first dog to sleep. I was at work today and he got home and she was howling in agony.

He was very upset and had never heard an animal in that much pain before...esp. her. He called me on teh cell, and I just knew... he told me she couldn't walk We rushed her up to the vet and she was moaning a little kept shifting in my arms... I just cradled her and kept stroking her head and telling her what a good girl she was and how much I loved her. We got her to our vet, who had promised to wait for us... they closed at 5 and this happened ten minutes to five.

He checked everything and it wasn't an obstruction... he did an xray and showed us that the tumor had grown, it was huge and burst. I know how much agony that is because I've had a huge cyst explode and it's like someone stabbing you again and again... He told us he could put her on narcotics but it was only a matter of days before everything started shutting down. She couldn't walk because she was in that much pain... not because she lost control of her limbs. We could tell that she was still in pain and whimpering and shifting. So we stroked her head and whispered that we love her and the vet gave her the injection. It was like she just went to sleep...

All three of us were crying. He's such a good vet, and I thanked him. Frank and
I just clung to each other and sobbed in the car. She was a wonderful, good, loving dog who loved us so much... not a mean bone in her body... and all I can say is I hope she's in heaven with my mom and dad and the babies I lost... and like Dr. Grubb said, she's a puppy agian.

God this hurts... I had a feeling I'd lose her right before Christmas. I just knew. I always lose those I love around the holidays...she was diagnosed right at Easter and died right before Christmas.

I was going to post my good news today and this happened. How sudden life is... I sold two more Egyptian historicals to Dorchester and my wonderful new agent also got me a contract to write two paranormals for Nocturne. I was so excited about both deals, but all I can think about now is my beloved dog. Ironically, I had started writing the book I sold, Empath, right after Tia was diagnosed. It was my therapy, writing a story about a woman whose dog is dying from a mysterious disease, only in this story, she cures the dog.

This is why I write romance. Because I can create my own happy endings. Real life sometimes is just too damn sad. :-(

I'm going offline for a while and no mail.

12 comments:

Angela James said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your furbaby. I know how painful it is to lose a family member like this. It's awful to watch them suffer and the choice to euthanize is never easy.

And congratulations on your contracts, as bittersweet as that feels.

~Angie

Debbie Mumford said...

I'm so sorry, Bonnie. My DH and I had to put down our beloved dog about 3 months ago. So very hard.

Honor your grief and take care of each other.

Eva Gale said...

I had to put down a dog of ours and it was horrifying. Hugs to you, it's so sad.

FerfeLaBat said...

Rest. You need it. I passed Eva's mucho retarded Meme on to you but you can save it for next month.

Cockatoos live to be 80 and you generally wish them dead by year 3. It is like having a pissed off two year old in the house forever. I can't recomend them highly enough as companions. In fact, you may have mine.

Love,

C

Janet said...

(((((((Hugs))))))

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Tia. I can't help but think her spirit had a hand in your good news. Just like she would comfort you if you were down, she couldn't leave you until there was a bit of good news to soften the blow of her loss. That's just the kind of warm friend she was to you.

Take care of you, my friend.

Janet

Mary Stella said...

Oh, Bonnie, even though you knew the day would come, it doesn't make it any easier or less painful. My condolences and hugs to you, Frank and Tiger. I'm glad that Tia is at peace.

Stacey said...

Oh, Bonnie, I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

KeeWee said...

{{{{Bonnie}}}} I'm just so so sorry. My love to you, Frank and Tiger.

Denise A. Agnew said...

Bonnie,

You know you're in my thoughts. I know how much it hurts to lose a pet. Hang in there. You know you can email me any time you need to talk.

Kathy Godbout said...

I just returned home from a trip and thought I'd check your blog to see how Tia was doing. I am so very sorry. Some dogs are special and she certainly seemed to be your 'special' one.

I've had shih tzus for 16 years and now have three. If there is a breed that has a sweeter disposition I would be surprised.

I don't know you or your pet but I am sitting here crying for you. Interesting thing, this internet...

Justin said...

hey, its so sad that Tia is no more with us!! May her soul rest in peace. Its so pathetic for us pet lovers when their pets die....

Toni Lea Andrews said...

You gave Tia a wonderful life. Remember that.