Thursday, December 07, 2006
Tia is gone
My beautiful baby...
I did everything I could for her, cooked, gave her meds, worried about her. Now she's at peace and not in pain anymore. I honestly think God had a hand in it b/c my DH was so very very against putting her down unless it was absolutely necessary because he had to put his first dog to sleep. I was at work today and he got home and she was howling in agony.
He was very upset and had never heard an animal in that much pain before...esp. her. He called me on teh cell, and I just knew... he told me she couldn't walk We rushed her up to the vet and she was moaning a little kept shifting in my arms... I just cradled her and kept stroking her head and telling her what a good girl she was and how much I loved her. We got her to our vet, who had promised to wait for us... they closed at 5 and this happened ten minutes to five.
He checked everything and it wasn't an obstruction... he did an xray and showed us that the tumor had grown, it was huge and burst. I know how much agony that is because I've had a huge cyst explode and it's like someone stabbing you again and again... He told us he could put her on narcotics but it was only a matter of days before everything started shutting down. She couldn't walk because she was in that much pain... not because she lost control of her limbs. We could tell that she was still in pain and whimpering and shifting. So we stroked her head and whispered that we love her and the vet gave her the injection. It was like she just went to sleep...
All three of us were crying. He's such a good vet, and I thanked him. Frank and
I just clung to each other and sobbed in the car. She was a wonderful, good, loving dog who loved us so much... not a mean bone in her body... and all I can say is I hope she's in heaven with my mom and dad and the babies I lost... and like Dr. Grubb said, she's a puppy agian.
God this hurts... I had a feeling I'd lose her right before Christmas. I just knew. I always lose those I love around the holidays...she was diagnosed right at Easter and died right before Christmas.
I was going to post my good news today and this happened. How sudden life is... I sold two more Egyptian historicals to Dorchester and my wonderful new agent also got me a contract to write two paranormals for Nocturne. I was so excited about both deals, but all I can think about now is my beloved dog. Ironically, I had started writing the book I sold, Empath, right after Tia was diagnosed. It was my therapy, writing a story about a woman whose dog is dying from a mysterious disease, only in this story, she cures the dog.
This is why I write romance. Because I can create my own happy endings. Real life sometimes is just too damn sad. :-(
I'm going offline for a while and no mail.