Monday, November 06, 2006

Living the author's dream

Mary Stella, who was at the Barnes and Noble booksigning with me at Altamonte this weekend (hosted by the Central Florida Romance Writers) blogged about Living the Author's Dream. Great post!

I thought I’d write a C&W song about my experience living the author’s dream this weekend…

Driving up the turnpike, Florida looks pancake flat
Dh going 90 mph, the bugs hitting the windshield going splat
I’ve got my notebook open, doing edits that I should have done
But it’s Saturday a.m. and again I’m on the run

Booksigning at 2 p.m. but we started on the road kinda late
Dog pooped in the living room, I think it was something Tia ate
We left the laundry in the dryer and the dishes in the sink
And now with three hours of driving, I have some time to think

Fatima in my story is riding with the men
Being a warrior heroine, her dream since she was ten
My editor wants to know why she was stabbed in the back
So I’m typing like a fiend, trying to resolve all that

Next I’m on the sex, she and Tarik are having nooky in his bed
I’ve got to explain a little more what’s going on in his head
I look up from the screen, as Fatima screams for more! MORE! MORE!
And see the tractor trailer swerving next to us, right toward my door

All thoughts of hot sex, pleasure and the Big O vanish in a snap
I’m thinking squished cars and me inside like a burrito wrap
We’re hugging the concrete barricade and I choke back a scream
Oh yes, here I am, living the author’s dream

We finally get to Altamonte and I’ve got three edits done
My hair looks like a wild woman’s and my panty hose has run
I have no make up on, my face kinda has this greenish cast
I wish they had a Jiffy Lube for women ‘cause this body needs a tune up fast

Get myself together and we speed over to the signing
No time to spare and my tummy is a whining
Had no time for lunch, but at the signing hope is there
My tablemate Dolores Wilson has Hershey’s kisses to share.

So that’s the author’s dream, I’m living it right down to the wire
Sometimes it’s fast and frantic, like my panties are on fire.
I love being a writer, and I’m learning more each day
This weekend’s lesson? No more edits on the highway.


Jennifer Ashley said...

Well I'm glad you made it back alive! I hope you had a good time in spite of the scary drive.

Toni Lea Andrews said...

ROFLOL! You gotta drive up to fabulous Melrose for a visit when you get an urge for the bucolic life. I'll take you to the lesbian coffee house (yes, in a town with a population of about 600, there's a lesbian coffee house) and you can pretend to be my date!

Mary Stella said...

Oh my, Bonnie. You looked so unruffled at the booksigning! Who knew you'd almost been squished on the ride?

Love the idea about a drive-through makeover place for women. Walk-in with bedhead and pallor; walk out totally glam.