Thursday, November 02, 2006

How much am I worth?

Suddenly, the pressure is mounting. Today at work our boss realized we have a slew of deadlines coming up... more work. The work is okay. But travel is now looming on the horizon before the year's end. Including a trip to Haiti.

Our destination may be Cite Soleil, depending upon how nutty it is at the time. Haiti is like the lottery. You never know what you will get. Ironically, just after that meeting, an acquaintance who lived there stopped by. She told me a relative was just kidnapped. Yup, Haiti's national pastime is still thriving.

Kidnapping foreign missionaries is also a new twist to this old profession. I think I can blend in.

So if I go, my big question isn't the usual... like will I puke my guts out again, have the kids, as they always do, run up to me, grab my hands and say, "Blanc, blanc!" Or struggle to contain my emotions as I'm interviewing people, trying to get the gut wrenching stories to bring back, write, so hopefully people will care.

It's this:

How much am I worth if I get kidnapped? Haitians love to barter. I hate paying cash. I mean, I'm AMERICAN. I live on credit.

I see a Mastercard commerical in the making.

Maybe I could trade them my old laptop instead. Or how about a week in Florida, expenses paid? The Holiday Inn is still reasonable this time of year, and it's on the beach. I'd even throw in a coupon for happy hour at the local bar. Not Barbancourt, but hey, the local rum will suit you fine.

Okay, back to work and edits... I'm way far behind. My editor wants to know if the virgin they threw in the Nile back in ancient Egypt was an annual sacrifice. Yup. Virgins always had it rough in the old days. Much better to be a 'ho and make $$$$.


Mary Stella said...

Round trip airfare to Florida from Haiti: $850.

Cocktails on the beach: $50

Slightly used but memorable laptop: $350.

Funny, passionate romance author and dedicated missionary: Priceless.

Bonnie Vanak said...

snort! LOL Mary!

I'm not dedicated. Deranged, yes, dedicated, no.

Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow in Orlando!