Thursday, July 28, 2005

I'm NOT in Reno, part deux

PW has an entertaining blog post on why not to be in Reno. Check it out. I almost had forgotten about the rubber chicken.

Workshops, though. I do miss the workshops. RWA has terrific workshops where you can learn a lot. But there are workshops you will never find at an RWA conference. Like these.

1) Your hero’s wiener: How small is too small? Does size really matter?

2) Paperweights are fun! Writing the manuscript that will sit on an agent’s desk forever.

3) The Regency Joy of peeing in a chamber pot

4) Inspirational workshop: Is satan really such a bad ass dude?

5) Pitching a story to a Big Deal Editor over lunch while speaking with your mouth filled with
rubber chicken. It’s really the manuscript that matters.

6) How to stalk an agent into the ladies room and strike up a conversation while in the next stall.

7) Spanking the monkey: writing the self-gratifying erotic romance

8) The time traveling chick lit: Manolo heel imprints on the ceiling of my Neanderthal’s cave.

9) Eliminating conflict from your story: Can’t they just be friends?

10) Writing the impotent Alpha hero that will sell.

11) Manuscript presentation: Pointers on writing a single-spaced manuscript in script font

12) Paranormal panel: Writing the inspirational vampire

13) How to switch POV in mid-sentence

14) Creating the TSTL whining, weak-kneed virgin heroine

15) Why you will never be me so just suck up and buy my books: A day in the life of a
egomanical best-selling author

16) Show me the debt! How to survive on eating cat food so you can enter gadzillions of RWA contests and try to get published

And sadly, the workshop you will never see, at least this year…

17: The sweet historical romance: a hot new market for the times.

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