Monday, March 21, 2005

More romance titles that will never make it

There are some things I’ve seen and heard in my work in the Third World that are too terrible to mention. I try not to dwell on them. They creep into my mind, nonetheless. So I find refuge in twisted humor. Just like a cop or a doctor or a nurse, humor is a defense mechanism for dealing with the misery I’ve seen. In light of last week’s trip to Haiti, I decided to conjure up more romance novel titles that will never sell…

You’re just like my mother

Lord Rotter’s too tight breeches

The vampire’s dentures

My Viagra lover

The Gay Rogue Goes Wild

I love wussy guys

The viscount’s halitosis

The virgin’s magic purple wand

To marry a man still breathing

Curse of the hairybacked werewolf

The highlander’s floral kilt

Bed farts, tales from down under

Navy SEAL Fashionistas

Navy SEAL Fashionistas Mission: Wardrobe Malfunction

Navy SEAL Fashionistas Mission: Mall Rat Rescue

Navy SEAL Fashionistas Mission: Manolo Sale

Spanking the wild monkey man

Expecting the sheikh’s artificially inseminated baby

Lady Tweedles’ Bulimia

The proctologist who loved me

And, to mock my own upcoming release (HINT HINT PLUG PLUG SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION), instead of The Cobra & the Concubine…

The Concubine and the One-Eyed Snake

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