Friday, December 03, 2004

Polishing the mailbox

Some very good news…woman who was kidnapped is free! Bad news is the ransom amount required. Very scary.

Ok, so I’m driving back to work after a frantic lunch hour of trying to accomplish a few measly things on my list and what do I see? My neighborhood, which is very pretty and polished and already boasts many decorated houses… and a neighbor is outside…

POLISHING the mailbox!

I nearly drove off the road.

Can you imagine what the inside of her house looks like? This woman probably scrubs her toaster until it gleams. My toaster, forget it. It looks like a survivor of 10 garage sales. My house resembles something a hurricane swept through. I STILL have the Emergency Carton of NECESSARY papers in a waterproof plastic bin sitting in the living room. My superstitious Irish soul refused to put it away until hurricane season ended. Ok, well, hurricane season officially did end last month, but hey you never know.

My list of Things to Do before I leave for Haiti in 9 short days is growing exponentially. Christmas cards to send out…and suddenly I realize people moved. I have to update my address list. Add that to the list. Shopping? Ha ha! Put up decorations. Hmmm, let’s see. Make separate list for that. If we managed to do it this weekend…

1) Go to garage and shuffle through maze of stuff to get to ladder
2) Get rickety wood ladder, position beneath attic crawl space
3) Watch DH climb ladder
4) Release small scream as he announces “Hey there’s a dead rat up here.”
5) Shoot him Very Annoyed Look as he looks down and says, “Just kidding.”
6) Think about tickling back of DH’s knee in revenge. Change mind when I realize I’ll have to take him to the hospital when he falls and breaks leg.
7) Start grabbing the myriad of boxes we stuffed up there only in February when we had enough energy to put away Christmas decorations
8) Assemble boxes in a semi-hazardous stack. Start to comb through them.
9) Realize I can’t put on the Christmas tablecloth on the dining room table because the trains he is fixing clutters that table
10) Realize I can’t put up the Christmas tree because the living room needs to be cleaned
11) Realize half the outside lights have dead bulbs
12) Mail arrives. Rush to mailbox and see Christmas card arrived from relatives haven’t heard from. Sit down and read through cards.
13) Get back to trying to decorate. First must stop Tiger from sniffing contents of boxes and Tia from chewing on faded Santa she thinks is her toy.
14) Realize half the Nativity set is gone. Must be in box still in attic. I’m missing Jesus
15) Hunt through the rest of the boxes for Jesus. Mary and Joseph also MIA. May have run off with the three Wise Men.
16) Abandon search for Jesus, decide to put poinsettias in vases and realize I need to find space to store flowers that were in vases.
17) Jesus is in the box with the melted Santa candle. Sound like a revival meeting as I scream out loud, “I found Jesus!”
18) Look at clock and realize I still have 10 billion Christmas cards to mail out.
19) Sit down to try to write ONE Christmas card
20) DH announces he’s hungry and it’s time to grab dinner
21) After dinner, look at pile of cartons, think of how tired I am, and decide our Christmas decorations this year will consist of baby Jesus and a lone red poinsettia stuck into a jelly jar on the kitchen counter, the only space I have managed to clear of clutter.
22) Think about going outside to polish mailbox. Inside of house is a wreck, but hey, at least my mailbox will look clean.

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